The regret and sorrow over the sin is that he is not the type of person who enjoys sinning (Auto Translated) | תמלול וסיכום מתורגם

The Seriousness of Mussar Books: What It Means to Write and to Learn

Introduction – A Lecture in Honor of the Holy Days

Maggid Shiur:

Rabbosai (gentlemen), the thing is like this. I want to speak about oness v’ratzon [compulsion and will]. Ah, this is a lecture that I didn’t prepare here. So, we need to speak about what’s written here. What’s written on the paper? No, it’s only one page. I need another page. There are many of them. Ah, this is a bit in honor of the holy days. I’m going to make such a temporal effort, I was making it on the side. Yes, good. This is the lecture in honor of the holy days.

Shaarei Teshuva and the Rambam’s Hilchos Teshuva – A Well-Known Investigation

The Rambam Didn’t Really Write About Doing Teshuva

It goes like this. What’s going on? It goes like this. It says in the holy sefer Shaarei Teshuva [Gates of Repentance, a classic work on repentance by Rabbeinu Yonah of Gerona]. Did we ever learn the sefer Shaarei Teshuva? Yes. Rabbi Yonah of Gerona [Rabbeinu Yonah of Gerona, 13th century Spanish Talmudist and ethicist]. He wrote a sefer about doing teshuva. Yes?

We need to understand why people mention the Rambam’s [Maimonides, Rabbi Moses ben Maimon, 1138-1204] sefarim about doing teshuva. One of the interesting chakiros [scholarly investigations] has already said many shiurim about this. Shmuli, let me not speak more about teshuva. The Rambam wrote a sefer about doing teshuva. The Rambam didn’t write there about doing teshuva anything. He didn’t write many other things, and not very much about doing teshuva. Yes? Okay.

There have been many shiurim already on this. It’s already been asked that the Rambam didn’t write any sefer about doing teshuva. What? Yes, half of the Hilchos [laws], that is, the laws from Shimon HaPerachim he inserted there the second half. And the other chapters of Hilchos Teshuva speak about who is an apikorus [heretic] and who is a tzaddik [righteous person] and who is a rasha [wicked person].

And at the beginning stand a few halachos, like how one must say the vidui Yom Kippur [the confession prayer on Yom Kippur]. The first two chapters are the halachos, which one can include in the category of halachos, together being Hilchos Teshuva, and the rest is the matter of tikkun hamiddos [character refinement].

About doing teshuva there’s almost nothing in the margin. But what we call doing teshuva is almost not there, or completely not in Hilchos Teshuva of the Rambam. Okay, this isn’t my discussion. But… Shaarei Teshuva… right.

A Big Part of It Is the Sefer HaMitzvos

A big part of it is the Sefer HaMitzvos [Book of the Commandments]. Yes. An interesting thing, how did the custom come about of writing books like sefarim on teshuva? They made more of a kind of mussar [ethical/moral teachings], not mussar, such a different kind, like a halachos sefer that is more… more Chassidic, more Chassidic, more mussar-like. I don’t know if there’s an earlier one, it stands there for a while. Something of this kind, my friend I called a Chassid.

No, so what’s the point and what’s the secret? Like how to live, one must tell a person how to live. Before the Shulchan Aruch [Code of Jewish Law] did people already have Hilchos Teshuva? Something like, one who was, Yekkes [German Jews] made such, excuse me they made such…

What Is a Mussar Book? How Hard Is It to Write One?

The Sefer Mussar Rabucha of R’ Avraham Yitzchak HaKohen

What else do you want to say something… he sinned? Rabbeinu Yonah, not that he wrote a peirush on Bava Basra [commentary on Talmudic tractate Bava Batra], what he says, what else did he write that one should know who it is?

Rabbeinu Yonah shows that I mean… this is according to the one who holds that to write such things specifically from flesh is more credible than to write Shaarei Teshuva. There are those who hold the opposite. Or you can say that Chovos HaLevavos [Duties of the Heart, classic work of Jewish ethics by Rabbeinu Bachya ibn Paquda] is a serious sefer, and Shaarei Teshuva is not, so it doesn’t help.

We need to speak about the matter itself, we need to stop with the credibility thing. Credibility is good for children. Okay, yes, so like this. I have an answer that I want to speak about you. I can write a mussar sefer, excuse me. I can write.

You know what? Try! The holy rabbi, this week was the yahrzeit of R’ Yitzchak Kohen [Rabbi Yitzchak HaKohen]. Rabbi Yitzchak HaKohen wrote a mussar sefer, that is Mussar Rabucha [an ethical work]. One of the sefarim that actually tried to write a mussar sefer, that is Mussar Rabucha. Rabbeinu Avraham Yitzchak HaKohen. I even had people who printed it and who printed it for their greatness and everything.

One of his products wrote a mussar sefer, that is Mussar Rabucha, and he wrote very much just as a mixture, and other students became righteous. This is one of the sefarim that actually tried to write as a sefer, as I remember.

In the hakdama [introduction] of that sefer it says that every Jew must have mussar, must have a path in avodas Hashem [service of God]. And what’s written in sefarim wasn’t general, it’s not specifically relevant to every person, and the person needs to work out for himself. So if indeed every person needs to write for himself a mussar sefer that works for him. And this is the sefer that worked for him. I ask about this, a person isn’t learned, it’s for him, it’s not for others. Anyway, so this is the… one can’t…

It’s Very Hard to Write a Good Sefer – Even a “Simple” One

Actually, if you try to write it, you will see that, it’s actually very hard. Yes, it’s relevant to our piece. It’s not so simple, not everyone can write such a sefer. It’s not true at all. If you think that the mussar sefer means just rambling, yes, everyone can ramble. By the way one can ramble quite well in Bava Basra also. It’s not so hard.

There were people, I don’t want to say their names, and I heard from talmidei chachamim gedolim [great Torah scholars] about certain sefarim mefursamim me’od b’Yisrael [very famous in Israel], that he says that they were amei ha’aretz gemurim [complete ignoramuses]. They sat like one can sit at the corner of a shiur and write down the shiur and doesn’t know properly at all what’s happening, so they say about the great tzaddikim. I can’t ask them because I’m not such a great talmid chacham, but I have friends talmidei chachamim who told me about several sefarim mefursamim that it’s accepted among those who know that he doesn’t know what’s happening.

So, it’s not exactly true that you can write a sefer anytime that should just be. Because it was printed on the side of another sefer, and many times there’s such luck, the one who prints the first sefer on the side of a second sefer, becomes like an accepted sefer.

Even “Simple” Sefarim Are Hard to Write

It’s actually very hard to know, especially a simple sefer. I’ll say it even more today… from whom did I see today the distinction? Especially a simple sefer. In other words, people think that… ah, I saw today in… yes, I don’t want to speak further about the sefarim. There’s a shiur which is lashon hara [evil speech/gossip] one can’t say suddenly.

But people think that to write certain sorts of sefarim is easy, because it’s in a certain sense, he thinks that ChatGPT can write it. Because it’s technical, there’s like a structure of the sefer. He takes another sefer, and he writes to the makor [source], every time he writes to the translation, Hebrew translation, which is… let’s say someone makes such a project, yes, a peirush on the Vayoel Moshe [major work by the Satmar Rebbe], going to bring for each time which Gemara [Talmud] the context and translate plainly so you can read, you’ll see that two people can write the sefer, one of them is a three-quarter am ha’aretz and the other is always truth.

It’s actually very hard to write such a sefer, today there’s the solution that one makes teams, like ArtScroll [major publisher of English Torah texts] that take a whole team of people and make the sefer, and even so only if there’s a talmid chacham who does it, the real talmid chacham who has such clarity and he knows actually to be precise every word it comes out good, and if not the whole team can be a void of amei ha’aretz, like everyone knows which sefarim I’m speaking about now.

I only mean to say that actually it’s very hard to write a sefer that actually makes sense. If you look for example at the Rishonim [early medieval Torah scholars], again, one mustn’t hack and speak about great Jews, I don’t have a Chazon Ish [Rabbi Avraham Yeshaya Karelitz, 1878-1953] who told me opinions about everyone.

But, you can see that there are different halachos sefarim in the time of today also, but it was the custom that every talmid chacham wanted to write that it was a summary of the halachos, and you could see which ones, and all of them are just making a summary. No one comes up with the bomb revelation, no one is the Maharsham [Rabbi Shalom Mordechai Schwadron, 1835-1911] and the Rogatchover [Rabbi Yosef Rosen, the Rogatchover Gaon, 1858-1936] and the… I don’t know who.

But even so, one can truly make a huge distinction, it’s a distinction of day and night. One who knows what’s happening here, his order is thought out every time, and one who isn’t… and it should be clear as day, because from outside, from the labor, if you don’t come into the sugya [Talmudic topic/discussion], you don’t know the distinction. But one who learns the sugya sees immediately the distinction. And there are even the sefarim that it’s accepted among Jews that they are indeed good and they aren’t good. In short, not at all so torn.

A Mussar Sefer Is Even Harder

The same thing is a mussar sefer. A mussar sefer is indeed a summary of how a Jew looks. The Ribbono Shel Olam [Master of the Universe, i.e., God] wrote a mussar sefer, a sefer, a sefer, a wonder, yes, or more or less. There’s very much interest, even on this when one learns too much one begins to criticize, one begins to see how it’s gradual, how it doesn’t fit.

It’s not so simple to write a mussar sefer at all. Ribbono Shel Olam wrote a mussar sefer, not just a mussar sefer taken from upon high, a mussar is a weird category for a sefer, and it’s much a cleverer sefer than everything Rabbeinu Yonah ever wrote together.

Mussar About Learning Itself: Laziness, Arrogance, and the True Way

One Can’t “Quickly” Understand Chovos HaLevavos

Okay, now, let me go back to my discussion, because this is just lashon hara, I didn’t speak the lashon hara of today. I have to say that the same sefer that was an Arab, and from the same sefer… I have the Arab sefer, and not the same sefer. There’s the style, there’s the style, he borrowed a certain style sefer. I can’t so, it’s impossible. He didn’t even have any Chovos HaLevavos bring the parable of King David. Who did Rabbah bring? Okay, let’s not go into this.

Now is another thing, but all these things are ways of not learning it. We try yes to learn. There’s a matter of a sayer it’s good to learn. This is the truth, no distinction. Because we still hold at the level to know the distinctions. This is indeed my mussar that I always say. The whole thing of saying… Chovos HaLevavos is the whole down. This is a cheap way of being on top of the Chovos HaLevavos. It’s only one is heavy at all friend.

The Chovos HaLevavos wrote content that you in a thousand years won’t grasp. Okay? But… so if you want to grasp the content, the content which is okay. Must basically do what one does in yeshiva. He says, to take and toil, read every word four times until one figures out at all what he’s saying. And afterwards you can place him that he stands differently in other places. At all to understand what’s going on, you need to take a few years just to read Chovos HaLevavos.

Laziness + Arrogance = The Bad Combination

But meanwhile you’re lazy, and besides that you’re lazy you have indeed still a clever one also, you have gaavah [arrogance]. You want to hold yourself greater than Chovos HaLevavos. How can you hold yourself greater than Chovos HaLevavos? I can’t write even one chapter that’s written. Ah, you know that Chovos HaLevavos himself said, he took from some Arab. Okay, and you didn’t take from any Arab either, and you didn’t take anything.

So in short, this is no way. This is my mussar, I hold it in one review. This is also my way of holding myself cleverer than those people, because I hold I also would have wanted to know many things, and I also read, and I do so further, and I never remember as well as the other people. So I found another thing, my issue is to understand. And if my issue is to understand, comes with hana’ah [pleasure], because one tries to understand.

The True Way: Understanding, Not Just Remembering

You grasp that when we come to a shiur at night, eight thirty at night, I won’t understand anything. I can repeat, I can try to replay what I learned in the morning. If I get up a day and there’s an hour of time that no one disturbs me, then I can perhaps learn. More than an hour a day it’s not possible to learn, stuff the time. I try to spend it there. Not possible.

What It Means to Read a Sefer Like Rambam, Aristotle, Chovos HaLevavos

And you realize what it means, if you read a sefer like the Rambam, or like Aristotle, or like the Chovos HaLevavos. Why? His sefer is a sefer of all the hours that he thought, because in every line stands a chiddush [novel insight]. He doesn’t repeat himself four times, like us, I say a shiur, and every few weeks I take one topic from a few… It’s a tremendous sefer.

So, it’s true for Chovos HaLevavos, and it’s true for Rambam, and for a lot of sefarim, and it’s true if you’re used to, you say me.

Rabbeinu Yonah’s Method in Teshuva: Regret and Feeling

The Maggid Shiur’s Learning Method: Understanding Over Review

Maggid Shiur:

Truth, what did you take? Nothing. So in short, this is no way. This is my mussar. I hold from one review. This is also my way of what I hold myself cleverer than those people, because I also held wanted to know many things, and I also read and so further, and I never remember as well as other people. So I found another thing. My issue is to understand. Always that my issue comes with hana’ah, because one tries to understand.

You grasp that when one comes now a shiur at night, eight thirty at night, I won’t understand anything. I can repeat, I try to replay what I learned in the morning. If I get up a day, there’s an hour of time that no one disturbs me, and then I can perhaps learn. More than an hour a day it’s not possible to learn. Stuff the time. I try to spend it there. Not possible.

The Difficulty of Classic Sefarim

And you realize what it means, like a sefer, like Aristotle, or like the Chovos HaLevavos [Duties of the Hearts, an 11th-century Jewish ethical work]. His sefer is a sefer of all the hours that he thought in, because every line stands a chiddush. He doesn’t repeat himself four times, like us, I say a shiur, and every few weeks I take one topic from a few… So, it’s a tremendous sefer.

So, it’s true for a sefer, so, so, so, then, of course, you know that he meant something? Read both the study, you’ll see that here stands something and there not. So, then learn, Rabbeinu Yonah [13th-century Spanish Talmudist and ethicist] wrote in a sefer Shaarei Teshuva.

Rabbeinu Yonah’s Shaarei Teshuva: A Systematic Sefer

It’s very important to go back to the thing. It was introduced to write sefarim on teshuva [repentance], and it’s very important, and it’s clarified, Rabbeinu Yonah is clearly the systematic side, he doesn’t write any drushim [homiletical sermons], Chassidic sefarim on a Torah. Already far must one criticize one.

Etymology of “Shaarei”

Translation

He writes very much with she’arim [gates/sections], yes, she’arim is an Arabic term, right? Anyway, I gave a lecture about this, in the Zohar lecture, Zohar Chamisha B’Sha’arei Binah [Zohar: the foundational work of Kabbalah], it already appears in the Gemara [Gemara: the Talmud]. But, a sha’ar is a section, Sha’arei Teshuvah [Gates of Repentance] means like Bava Basra [Bava Basra: a tractate of the Talmud], bava means a gate, right?

He meant also by the Arabs. The Gemara was already then, it was already only Aramaic, it’s the same language. “Bava” is also here in Aramaic. But “Sha’arei” – there’s no book that’s called “Sha’arei,” before I mean that he wrote “Sha’arei Shevuos” or something like that. And “sha’ar” in Arabic is a section, if you have a section of a book, a chapter, it was called a sha’ar. Sha’ar means that it’s like a topic, like we have… people title books this way, right? Sha’ar.

And sha’ar, I’m saying, in Arabic sha’ar is a “bab,” it’s the same word as in Aramaic, Bava Basra. Bava Basra means the last gate. And I heard of a place, Bab-el-Mandeb [Bab-el-Mandeb: a strait between Yemen and Djibouti] is literally the gate of the gates of suffering or something like that, gate for door they say there. And that’s a gate, right? That’s the same word. Yes, I’m saying, bava means a door, a gate, and it’s the same word. Okay, what am I talking nonsense? It’s all history.

The Content of Sha’arei Teshuvah

The point is that he wrote a clear book, he wanted to bring out that you need to understand that teshuvah (repentance) is a very basic thing, and there’s also history in this to explain why, and why it’s good, and why one must do teshuvah.

Main Distinction: Rambam vs. Rabbeinu Yonah Regarding Charatah

And it says there like this, but I want to bring out something that doesn’t appear in the Rambam [Rambam: Maimonides, 12th-century Jewish philosopher and legal codifier]. There’s something that doesn’t appear in the Rambam, or perhaps it appears in just one line in the Rambam. Rabbeinu Yonah elaborates on this, I haven’t looked it up, I only remember from yeshiva ketanah (elementary yeshiva), they reviewed the words with me.

Rabbeinu Yonah’s Approach: Feeling Bad is a Fundamental Principle

Rabbeinu Yonah elaborates that one of the ikrei hateshuvah [fundamental principles of repentance], and most people who do teshuvah, what we call teshuvah is more or less only this, this is because it’s important to notice, this is not in the Rambam, this is in Rabbeinu Yonah, one of the fundamental things of teshuvah is to feel bad.

It says in Rabbeinu Yonah, he calls it yagon [sorrow], yagon, da’agah [worry], anachah [sighing], such sorts of words. Me’ikrei hateshuvah hayagon [from the fundamental principles of repentance is sorrow]. To afflict oneself, to cry, to anguish over what one has sinned, to feel bad, to have charatah [regret], what we call having charatah.

The Distinction Between Two Types of Charatah

Charatah, let me, I want to explain the distinction. There’s charatah and there’s charatah, they’re two different things, true? There’s having charatah which means like someone is mischareit al hashevuah [regrets the oath], he regretted, he was mistaken. No, the charatah, when the Rambam says charatah, it means very simply, like someone made a mekach [purchase] and he had charatah, he is mischareit al hashevuah, he regretted, it was a mistake.

I didn’t need to, it wasn’t a good idea, I should have been different. And how do you know that he would have wanted that? Because he does differently now. I have charatah.

Critique of R’ Tzadok’s List

People think that there’s charatah and kabalah [acceptance/resolution for the future]. That’s not true. R’ Tzadok [R’ Tzadok: R’ Tzadok HaKohen of Lublin, 19th-century Hasidic thinker] made the list, the Rambam doesn’t have the list, and it doesn’t make sense.

Rambam’s Definition of Charatah

Charatah means, it’s like someone says, I went, I went on this path, I have charatah, I’m now going to go on that path, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is the end. That’s the meaning of charatah. It’s not some feeling, there’s no feeling in this. The Rambam perhaps is makish [compares/equates] that it can help to have the feelings in order to have charatah, but the Rambam’s hagdarah [definition] of “yischareit al she’avar” [he regrets the past] is not that.

Rabbeinu Yonah’s Approach: Feeling as a Fundamental Principle in Itself

But Rabbeinu Yonah is very clear, he does make that the definition. There are entire sections in Sha’arei Teshuvah about being humble and giving certain hisbonenos [contemplations] that should cause a person to have charatah and feel bad, and it should hurt him. You can say the word hurt. Feeling bad is a word hurt. It should hurt him what he did wrong, he should have pain for this, and this is a fundamental thing of teshuvah. Right?

And many people hold that this is the main teshuvah. That is, what many Jews do in shul on Yom Kippur [Yom Kippur: the Day of Atonement] or at selichos [penitential prayers] is they feel more and more bad about all the things they don’t do well. They hear recitations of what they do, which should make them feel worse.

Critique of the “Feeling Bad” Approach

Student:

Do you do that?

Teacher:

That’s not the Rambam’s understanding. It helps, it helps, it helps that one does something less, one does something less pleasurably. I didn’t say it doesn’t help. But you’re making it the main thing. It would be more useful to not feel bad and just do differently. You’ll feel bad and do the same thing. It doesn’t work greatly. To feel bad is a simple market.

Rabbeinu Yonah’s Own Qualification

Because Rabbeinu Yonah himself says this, yes? This is not my innovation. Rabbeinu Yonah himself says in the second section, I don’t remember, it’s stated explicitly in Rabbeinu Yonah, and the Hasidic books that said this even quoted Rabbeinu Yonah.

Rabbeinu Yonah himself says that what he said in the first section, there are two sections in Sha’arei Teshuvah, something like that, I don’t remember, or there’s another section, there’s Igeres HaTeshuvah [Letter on Repentance], there’s another section Igeres HaTeshuvah which is more concise and more lema’aseh [practical]. I don’t remember, I’ll look it up later. I’m saying the idea, it’s stated in another place, or it’s stated the opposite, not a section, I’m saying what the truth is.

The Approach for a Person Who is Habituated in Sin

And in Igeres HaTeshuvah, in the next place in Sha’arei Teshuvah it says that what he wrote in the first section, that there’s an approach of doing teshuvah, that first one grasps what one has done, and one has charatah, and so on, and afterwards one begins to become a person, this is said about a person who hasn’t sinned.

But the one who has already sinned, the one who is already in the midst of sinning, the one who is already deep in the midst, he is already murgal b’cheit [habituated in sin], his way is not to do this. If he goes to do this, he will never come to teshuvah. This Rabbeinu Yonah himself says.

So what should he do? Begin to do good, immediately. As long as there is a person, after a few years when he goes he can already begin to do teshuvah al he’avar [on the past]. So says Rabbeinu Yonah befeirush [explicitly].

I’m saying it because according to the Rambam it doesn’t come out, but according to Rabbeinu Yonah it does come out. The charatah that I’m saying, when the Rambam would say that a person should make himself feel bad, it’s in order that he should stop what he’s doing. But Rabbeinu Yonah holds that there’s a fundamental principle of teshuvah, and I want to explain it a bit today, or talk about this, there’s a fundamental principle of teshuvah that this is to feel bad, a davar bifnei atzmo [a thing in and of itself]. One of the levels in teshuvah, one of the ways how teshuvah works.

Questions and Discussion: The Nature of Charatah

Student:

Is that a part of this apparently, it’s one aspect of this.

Teacher:

Yes yes, it’s a part. The Rambam has, one says such a thing, but going, his main point is not his main point.

Student:

Yes, but it could be, it could be, okay, I don’t know, let me, okay, my understanding is not with asking mechilah [forgiveness]. It could be, it could be one needs to ask mechilah from the Almighty, and feel bad. So the Almighty should forgive, I don’t know exactly.

Teacher:

But that’s the thing, that’s the subject. Okay?

Back to the Main Topic: Continuation from Last Week

Now, now it’s like this, what’s the thing? What’s the matter? So the thing is roughly like this, I want to say how I understand it, because it’s not what’s written on the paper, I’m amazed at the paper, it’s truly a different paper. What can one do? I made a paper, and I made a lecture, and it’s not the same thing.

So the thing is like this, and we spoke last week, this is a continuation from last week. We spoke last week that… what did they speak about last week?

Recapitulation: The Worst Sins are Those One Loves

Student:

The worst side has a virus that one still loves also. Is that what was discussed? Is that the whole lecture? Is that what was discussed last week?

Teacher:

No, first. Last week we spoke about this. The first thing is the sins that one still loves also. That’s what was discussed last week.

Student:

It’s not true. They said why is the midas hata’avah [trait of desire] worse than meguneh [reprehensible]? Because you love that. But that’s ta’anug [pleasure]. That has to do with the topic of ratzon [will]. There were still huge things, other things. But that…

Teacher:

No, yes, the worst thing is the sins that one still loves also, which is still pleasurable also for the person. That’s what we learned last week, right? Yes, do you agree? Yes.

The Principle of Choice and Knowledge

And they called it “ratzon,” right? And they explained why? Because there is a tnai [condition], one condition of every thing means that it should be bad, and they’re talking about human badness, right? What is bad for a person only if it’s bibechirah uv’da’as [with free choice and knowledge], right?

It comes out that the sin that is the most with knowledge, that sort of badness, that sort of sin, that sort of midah [character trait] that is the most bad, is the most about the person, right? It’s more the most you. What are you? What I love the most, that’s me, I want that the most, that’s what I want, that’s my knowledge, that’s my choice. Therefore, the things that a person feels good about, loves, is the worst thing. That’s what we learned, yes? Right.

Two Types of Tests

Now, if so, and we explained that if so, there are sins whose teva [nature] is that one doesn’t love them, right? That’s the topic of… what’s the topic of… you can call it ones [compulsion], or had a nisayon [test/trial], right? There are two sorts of nisyonos, that’s what one needs to grasp. There are two sorts of things that are called a nisayon, right?

And we say, we spoke last week about this, this was the chapter of the lecture, that a sin that a person has a great desire for is almost never, at least, a heter [permission] or a bit of ones. Because ones means that one removes the condition, right? Everything has ones, shogeg [unintentional], all those sorts of things. It means, one removes the condition that says that I… that it’s with will, that it’s with choice.

How much one can remove it, there are many levels in this, how much one can remove it, perhaps there are chilukim [distinctions] in this, how much one can remove it, the less one can hold a person liable, to hold a person chayev [obligate/hold liable].

Difficulty, Compulsion, and the Limits of Forgiveness

The Nature of Difficulty: Initially and After the Fact

Difficulty as an Exemption, Not as Permission

Teacher:

What is there? What does make a difference that the thing is difficult? As if two things. One initially and one after the fact. A thing is difficult, you can make a distinction initially, you can say that the thing is indeed very bad, but you cannot demand from a person what to do. What, that’s not possible? It’s almost so difficult as to be impossible, you cannot demand, you cannot have any complaints. That’s one sort of thing. Sometimes one cannot have any complaints.

The truth is that there’s even more than that. There’s even sometimes that not only can one not have any complaints, but it’s right that one should not have any complaints. Mah ya’aseh haben shelo yecheta [what should the son do so as not to sin]?

Student:

Will, no, I wasn’t that one, I didn’t speak about that last thing.

Teacher:

I said, mah ya’aseh haben shelo yecheta? That’s the first thing. I spoke about the two, a few weeks ago. And I’ll give a tremendous one to the question, I should thank the Almighty and it should help. We’ll see.

But, make a blessing. Now, okay, okay, okay, because that’s called ones, but it’s not exactly ones, because it could have been. Ones, actual ones. I’m saying, one has no complaints. Not only sometimes that one has no complaints, but let me finish. Sometimes not only that one has no complaints, but that he is even right in this.

The Belzer Rav’s Approach: Does a Sin Become a Mitzvah?

If there’s a law kol aveirah shebaTorah ya’avor ve’al yeihareg [for every sin in the Torah, one should transgress rather than be killed], it means, because it doesn’t become a mitzvah, the sin doesn’t become a mitzvah. I know that the Belzer Rav says it becomes a mitzvah, I think he wasn’t right.

Student:

Yes, I don’t know. Yes, the first Belzer Rav.

Teacher:

Okay, he spoke about ratzon Hashem [the will of God]. It’s different. It doesn’t become a mitzvah, it doesn’t become a good thing to eat on Yom Kippur if one must eat on Yom Kippur.

Student:

Not the Belzer Rav. My grandfather the Belzer Rav, I don’t agree. R’ the middle Rebbe, did he tell you the story?

Teacher:

I need to tell the story. If I told you, the story was like this: that the Vizhnitzer Rebbe, the Tzemach Tzedek [the Tzemach Tzedek, the Vizhnitzer Rebbe], was very sick before Yom Kippur. He was a mechutan (in-law) with the Belzer Rav. So his children didn’t want him to fast, and they sent letters to the Belzer Rebbes, to other rabbis, they should send him a letter he should be strengthened, that they were afraid that the father would feel bad, he would fast.

So they sent the letters to fast, and they printed the letters, there’s a letter from R’ Shila Belzer Rav, he wrote a letter to the Tzemach Tzedek, and it says there that it’s a wonder by someone who heard such lashon hara (evil speech) about him, that the doctor says he should eat and he will plan to fast, he can’t believe such lashon hara about such a tzaddik (righteous person), and he remembers that his father had the same story.

He tells me before the first evening, in short, the other year, his father was sick on Yom Kippur, he had to eat, he says he doesn’t remember such joy for his father as the time when he ate on Yom Kippur, perhaps it will be swayed. He says that it was said, his father said, what does this mean? The ratzon Hashem, the Almighty says, you want to fast. You fast, once one says eat, he eats, he fulfills the same mitzvah.

The Legal Answer: Permission, Not Mitzvah

But that’s not true, legally. I admit, it’s true Hasidically, because the Almighty wants, but legally it’s not true. Because a sick person on Yom Kippur is a heter [permission/dispensation], not only is it a heter, it’s even a chiyuv (obligation) also. About this there’s a dispute in the Radbaz [Radbaz: Rabbi David ben Zimra] and other Acharonim [later rabbinic authorities], whether a person has a right to sacrifice himself in this manner for other mitzvos, even the Tosafos [Tosafot: medieval Talmudic commentaries] that one can sacrifice oneself for all mitzvos, it’s not clear that this means in such a manner against illness, it could be that it means only against compulsion. There’s a dispute among Acharonim about this.

Al kol panim [in any case], there were certainly tzaddikim who sacrificed themselves. The Tzemach Tzedek died two weeks after Yom Kippur and he didn’t eat. He said anyway the letters didn’t help. I don’t know if he died because of this, he was old and sick.

The Fundamental Principle: Bad Remains Bad

Ratzon Hashem Versus Permitted

But in any case, the point is that it’s not true, as the Rambam [Rambam: Rambam/Maimonides] said that it becomes permitted [mutar: permitted], that’s what I want to say. Perhaps it becomes the will of Hashem, but not… the will of Hashem is everything, it’s necessary, there are no complaints. But it doesn’t become permitted, it doesn’t become a good thing. Yom Kippur is enough, Yom Kippur is not an example, because the Rambam will say that it’s a chok [chok: a divine decree without rational explanation], it’s not really…

But in any case, a bad thing that is truly bad, doesn’t become good because it’s an ones (duress). Because even if it’s a… it’s not really an ones, right? Not an ones of “and to the maiden you shall do nothing” [v’lana’arah lo ta’aseh davar: and to the maiden you shall do nothing – Deuteronomy 22:26], right? It’s not an ones of natural disaster. It’s an ones where you have to choose to do this. You chose to eat, because you hold that it’s better to eat, and you’re about to die. You’re right, you’re right, we understand you, not that we understand you, we understand you so well that we say you should indeed do so, the Rav says to do so.

Contradiction Between Two Mitzvos

What is the other mitzvah? It’s a condition in the mitzvah, it’s not really a mitzvah. Which mitzvah is this? There is no such mitzvah, there’s no learning of mitzvos. There is no such mitzvah. There is no such mitzvah. There is no such mitzvah. But there is no such mitzvah. Let yourself yes mitzvah. In practice, you miss another one. It’s a contradiction between two mitzvos [stirah tzei mitzvos: a conflict between two commandments]. Can’t you from contradiction between two mitzvos?

Student:

See my thing must in English.

Maggid Shiur:

The point is, it’s a bad thing. And sometimes one must do a bad thing. That’s what it means to say contradiction between two mitzvos. It’s a bad thing to eat on Yom Kippur. It’s a good thing to live, it’s perhaps better to live than to fast on Yom Kippur. How do we know this? Because we’ll derive the comfort from drashos, from halachos, and so forth. In any case, so they say, so one must do. But this is a thing that is difficult, we understand.

Examples of “Extenuating Circumstances”

Sometimes there is what is difficult, and the halachah doesn’t agree with you, and they don’t agree, we still understand everything, true? Like the Rambam says for example, even a simple Rambam, someone had a lot of money, he could lose a lot of money, we know all these stories, the Jew came on erev Shabbos, the non-Jew wanted to make a transaction, and he was moser nefesh for shemiras Shabbos and he didn’t make the transaction.

Yes, most times one did make the transaction and the business succeeded, true? And not only did the business succeed, we understand him. We can’t have any complaints against this person. It could be that even, by the way, I won’t ask, I’ll say that according to halachah, I don’t know, they’ll make a hasra’ah and so forth [hasra’ah: warning], whether beis din will punish him for this, I don’t know, but we certainly understand him, yes?

If he comes to the Rav and he says “I want teshuvah [teshuvah: repentance], I was guilty of chillul Shabbos [chillul Shabbos: desecration of the Sabbath], I made a transaction on Shabbos, it was only d’rabbanan [d’rabbanan: rabbinic prohibition], whatever, I had a heter, but it was that I couldn’t lose my entire house because of this,” he gave him a lighter teshuvah, true? Because we understand him. He did what is called “extenuating circumstances” in law. It makes a difference, it’s not the same thing, right? Although you’re not right, you should have overcome yourself, but I didn’t overcome myself, we understand you.

The Rambam’s Approach: Exempt But Not Permitted

Even By Mesiras Nefesh — We Still Understand

The Rambam says even more, the Rambam says that even in situations where one is obligated to be moser nefesh, we still understand everything. He is patur [patur: exempt from punishment]. Someone served avodah zarah [avodah zarah: idolatry], he served avodah zarah, he is patur because he is an ones. But it says that one must be moser nefesh? True, he nullified the mitzvah of “v’ahavta” [v’ahavta: “and you shall love” – referring to the commandment to love God with all one’s soul], he wasn’t moser nefesh. In other words, the mitzvah indeed says this, that the mitzvah is more important than you living, but we still understand him, right?

The Meaning of “We Understand You”

What does this mean? This doesn’t mean that we understand you, this doesn’t mean that it’s difficult. This means that it’s difficult, and therefore it becomes like a patur, ones rachmana patrei [ones rachmana patrei: the Merciful One exempts one who is under duress], such a thing. This means we give you mechilah [mechilah: forgiveness]. This means selichah [selichah: pardon]. We are mochel [mochel: forgives] you. Understand?

Teshuvah, Kapparah, and the Nature of Ratzon: Shogeg, Meizid, and Charatah

Shogeg and the Basic Structure of Kapparah

On shogeg, right? Says the verse Yom Kippur. I mean that we understand that this is essentially the thing of Yom Kippur. What does it say in Parshas Shelach? “And it shall be forgiven to the entire congregation of Israel etc. for all the people [acted] in error” [v’nislach l’chol adas bnei Yisrael… ki l’chol ha’am bishgagah: “and it shall be forgiven to the entire congregation of Israel… for all the people [acted] in error” — Bamidbar/Numbers 15:26]. What does it mean that for this one should be mochel? Because a shogeg has an excuse!

Of course, a shogeg has meant one should always have known, shogeg is never a good excuse. If it’s a good excuse, it’s an ones. An ones is the first type. An ones means, we understand, one is even right. But it’s not right, but the thing doesn’t become good. It wouldn’t be right, because you weren’t at all, you’re an ones.

A shogeg means, one wasn’t careful enough. If you should have thought twice, and you only once. You need to look both ways when you cross the red light, you only looked one way. You should have looked if there’s someone under you when you chop wood and you didn’t look.

Levels of Kapparah By Shogeg

But… you indeed have kapparah, as this is the halachah:

– Sometimes one must pay something for the kapparah

– One must go into exile, like one who killed a person accidentally [horeg nefesh b’shoggo: one who killed a person accidentally]

– Sometimes he must bring a korban, like many sins in the Torah

– Sometimes he must do nothing, if it’s only a lav, he only needs to feel bad

He has no difference, but he has a kapparah. What does a difference mean? There are three other levels:

1. There is sometimes when he is still a mitzvah, he must at all, we don’t understand him at all, that is we understand him, but he must still, one should have overcome oneself

2. There is sometimes when we understand him, but he’s not right, but we understand him, I don’t know if he even needs to do teshuvah, we understand him

3. And there is sometimes when we understand him, but before understanding he receives kapparah, receives selichah, we are mochel him

Understand? There are things that you can say at the outset, I only know on such a thing we will be mochel.

The Question of Promise and Halachah

On this it’s difficult, people ask, how can it be? The Torah already knows whether the Almighty will be mochel every moment, and perhaps once He won’t be mochel? Can you still explain how the halachah worked?

The Almighty stands, “v’nislach lo”. Verse, “v’nislach lo”, “and the Kohen shall atone for him and it shall be forgiven to him” [“v’nislach lo”: “and it shall be forgiven to him”]. “V’nislach lo” says the Almighty, yes? How does this work? Is the Almighty obligated to the halachah? The Almighty doesn’t want to be mochel that one?

I understand that it’s a promise, I promised it.

The Rambam’s Condition: Teshuvah

The Rambam comes and he says, no, he must do teshuvah. Says the Rambam, meaning, unless teshuvah. “All sacrifices do not atone unless one has done teshuvah” [al kol hakorbanot ein mechaprin ela im ken asah teshuvah: “all sacrifices do not atone unless one has done teshuvah/repentance” — Rambam, Hilchos Teshuvah]. He must do teshuvah, why must he bring a korban?

Do you catch the basic question-answer? That korbanos come on a shogeg. A meizid doesn’t help a korban usually, except for one sin. But mostly for meizid doesn’t help teshuvah.

Why Does One Need a Korban By Shogeg?

Why? Because a korban comes for such a type of person that we understand him. He had a good excuse, not enough a good excuse that he should be patur, enough a good excuse to receive kapparah. Understandably, with a korban, not for free.

Why must he bring a korban? Because he shouldn’t want again. Do you catch the plan? He shouldn’t say, “Aha, it was a shogeg, it was quite pleasant.” No, it must not be pleasant. I don’t know if this is real shame.

That is, that the reason why there is such a type of thing called selichos, there are kapparos, there are ways how you go back to things, the first thing is when you still love it. The first thing is when you want it. That is a real sin, with knowledge and will.

If a person finds it difficult, we understand him. Sometimes we understand him so well that he indeed doesn’t need to do it, sometimes we don’t understand him so well. And sometimes, or very many times, on this there are levels, perhaps divisions of kapparah and so forth, most divisions of kapparah change, revolve around this that I understand you so well that I should be mochel you.

The Critical Condition: Charatah

Now we see also in chavrusa, a person did such a type of thing, I will be mochel him, you didn’t know, if you had known you wouldn’t have wanted, I will be mochel him. This is not called lechatchilah, this is not a thing lechatchilah.

Digression: Chananya Mishael and Azarya and the Limits of Mesiras Nefesh

I can imagine, as the Gemara says, “Had they not whipped Chananya, Mishael, and Azarya, they would not have bowed to the idol” [ilmalei nigduhu l’Chananya Mishael v’Azarya lo havu mishtachavei l’tzalma: “had they not whipped Chananya, Mishael, and Azarya, they would not have bowed to the idol” — referring to the story in Daniel 3]. But it was a great mesiras nefesh? This is to die, to remain with suffering also is already too difficult.

But perhaps one may not, it doesn’t say in the laws of pikuach nefesh, one must know if they did according to halachah, or “their hearts were devoted to Heaven” [libam masur lashamayim: “their hearts were devoted to Heaven”], let’s say it was according to halachah. There’s no such heter if one makes suffering for a person that this one may yes, but the fact is, the Gemara says this, that although it says that for avodah zarah a person must let himself be killed, this one knows that if they will torture his mother in front of him, most likely he will indeed go through the avodah zarah ceremony.

Many people say that it’s very easy to dance into a fiery furnace for avodah zarah, and the Chassidic books say that every Jew dances into a furnace, this is easy. Not so things to let them torture their children for this.

What is harder? But you’ll say, can something be harder than death? It must be harder than death. In any case, to die, if one has died one has finished. It’s quite an easy thing. It’s quite easy, it’s relatively easy. Ah, the non-Jew can make it take longer, like the previous tract, you know. There is a solution.

In any case, this is what we bring out. In this case, lechatchilah I say that he will do it, although one may not. He must indeed be moser nefesh. I don’t believe that there’s a difference in halachah, but lechatchilah I say.

Back to the Main Point: B’dieved Understanding With a Condition

Still there is a case where I say not lechatchilah. You ask me lechatchilah if I can make that shogeg is… shogeg is then not a deficiency in ratzon, it’s a deficiency in da’as, but let’s, for the moment we’re collapsing the distinction. It’s not exactly the same thing. But such a type of thing that I say is in the category of shogeg, or in the category of what he has charatah, which we’re coming to speak about, is not a thing that lechatchilah can I say that I will understand him, but b’dieved I understand him.

B’dieved I understand him on condition that he feels bad. One comes to a condition, an important condition, a very important condition. The condition that he feels bad.

Dvarim Shel Ta’anug and the Problem of “I Loved It”

Says Aristotle in many other contexts around the discussion, why do we say, let’s understand, why do we say, or when do we say a difference, have we called earlier a difference, on dvarim shel ta’anug the excuse of ones helps very barely.

I loved it so much, I didn’t want. Yes, yes, that’s the problem that you loved it so much. It becomes that you will love it so much. “Ah, I wasn’t used to it.” Indeed, it’s a problem. Don’t tell me that it’s easier not to love. Yes, as we spoke, there is an answer to the question. But that you loved it so much, you’re a worse person.

Example: The Bank Error

I’m not mochel a person who stole from me b’shogeg, he didn’t mean to, the bank itself gave him by mistake my check for him, and he was very happy, the Almighty sent him a donation, and afterwards he comes to me and he says I should be mochel him.

Come here, returning the money is not enough. Catch? Okay. You need to feel somewhat bad also.

Why should I be mochel you? Because you didn’t want. But you indeed very much wanted.

Ratzon is Complex: Loving and Wanting

Ratzon, wanting, is indeed composed of two things: of loving and of wanting. I loved it very much, I didn’t want. Do you catch that it’s funny?

If you say, “I feel really bad that I took your money, and you couldn’t pay rent this week because I received by mistake your check.” Okay, I’m mochel you. You did nothing bad, you didn’t do a bit bad, you were a shogeg, you couldn’t do something. I’m mochel you, I’m mochel you, I’m mochel you.

But it’s very important that you should have charatah, because if you didn’t have charatah, the basic thing returns that a thing that one loves is worse, the excuse of ones and shogeg, the difficulty, helps less, than on a thing that one doesn’t love.

The Difference of Dvarim Shel Ta’anug and Dvarim Shel Pachad

Like the difference that was spoken about last week of dvarim shel ta’anug and dvarim shel hecharach, of fear, right? If someone went to war and he was a fearful and soft-hearted man [ish yarei v’rach halevav: “a fearful and soft-hearted man” — referring to the exemption from military service in Deuteronomy 20:8], he is worthy that even a mitzvah he should return. And then what do we say? We understand him.

Sometimes he must do teshuvah, you know what? “And Hashem will forgive him” on this. One will do teshuvah, one will do teshuvah, one will do what one must, he will do teshuvah.

But if he comes still with a smile on his lips, “It was indeed quite tasty the pig that I ate by mistake. Okay, I didn’t want, I have no complaint on myself, I do have a complaint on you. Why do you want? You indeed want. It’s true, it’s indeed all tasty to you, you still hold of it, you still love it.”

Rabbeinu Yonah and Charatat HaCheit

So, I mean that simply translated, all these things that Rabbeinu Yonah says that there is a concept to be lengthy in charatat hacheit [charatat hacheit: regret over the sin], he feels bad about this, is all about this. He’s not speaking of meizid.

On meizid doesn’t help, as he says indeed in another place, someone is accustomed indeed to do the sins, he holds of it, this is not his problem, he has a much bigger problem, he shouldn’t know.

But in a certain sense, it indeed says in the verse, Yom Kippur and in general, the kapparah of korbanos is made on shegagos, not made on mezidim.

“Zedonos Na’asos K’shegagos” — The Structure of Teshuvah

And afterwards we will soon speak differently to one who has anyway done once a sin b’meizid, it’s not so simple, there is such a thing. But, there is such a thing to do a sin b’meizid. You will sometimes do a sin b’meizid.

What Does Meizid Mean?

You wanted to do that you hold that it’s a good thing. Remember, part of meizid means that you hold that it’s a good thing. You wanted to do a thing that is bad. Wanting means holding that it’s good. Remember? Okay, this is an old problem of Socrates. It’s not so simple. It’s hard to find a real meizid. And this is true.

Regarding This Understanding: “Al Chet Shechatanu Lefanecha Bishgagah”

Regarding this, this understanding, regarding this we say “al chet shechatanu lefanecha bishgagah” [al chet shechatanu lefanecha bishgagah: “for the sin we have sinned before You in error” — from the Yom Kippur confessional], it doesn’t only mean shegagos (unintentional sins). But what it means to say, the structure of Yom Kippur, this means “zedonos na’asos kishgagos” [zedonos na’asos kishgagos: “intentional sins become like unintentional ones”]. It says in the Gemara, there is such a thing called “zedonos na’asos kishgagos.”

What Does “Zedonos Na’asos Kishgagos” Mean?

What does “zedonos na’asos kishgagos” mean? This is the normal seder hateshuvah (order of repentance). Teshuvah (repentance) means everyone, whatever. The normal seder hateshuvah is zedonos (intentional sins). What does it mean to say? Exactly this.

I wanted and didn’t want. A little I loved it, a little I didn’t love it. Why not? Because I hold that it’s not good. That’s what it means. And the not loving, because my intellect said that it’s not good, and my heart… however you want to resolve the contradiction, not our topic now.

But from this it’s a bad thing, from this you’re somewhat guilty, from this you’re called a meizid (intentional sinner), from this you need some punishment, you’re somewhat guilty, to the extent that you loved it, to the extent that you did it with will. Because by us, or even completely unintentionally, it’s quite enough to be liable.

Ratzon Is Not Just “Before the Act” — Ratzon Is Personality

And a part of ratzon (will), now there is ratzon, there is… we’re accustomed that ratzon is something that only makes sense before the act. But according to what we learn, the Mesilas Yesharim (Path of the Just) says this, that the novelty of teshuvah is something funny that it goes backwards, that one can uproot the ratzon that one did.

But it’s not true. I love to say that the gedolei Yisrael (great Torah scholars) are not true. What I mean to say is, that whoever has learned our shiur (class) knows that it’s not true that ratzon is something that comes before an act.

Ratzon Is Personality Over Time

It’s not at all true that what we call ratzon, the main thing that makes, in other words, the thing that connects the act to you, which is more than ratzon, which we call bechirah (choice), ahavah (love), da’as (knowledge), and ratzon, and all these things together, is your personality. Your personality across time.

Not… I’ll give you to speak. A person in general, almost never, decides on the minute to do anything. Everything that… I know you, I know more about what you can do the next two years. It’s not so hard to figure out. But that’s actually your ratzon, because what you do, that’s what you love to do. As we’ve spoken many times. Not enough times, but many times. Right?

Tzaddik and Rasha: Judging Favorably and Judging Unfavorably

It comes out, regarding this there is a real difference, right? And hold on, I’m telling you simple things now. Regarding this there is a real difference which person does which thing, right?

It says that if you see a tzaddik (righteous person) do a sin, one should judge him favorably. If you see a rasha (wicked person) do a sin, one should judge him unfavorably. One is a tzaddik, the Almighty forgives him quicker. He did it the first time.

Teshuvah and the Judgment of the Person: Chazakah, Charatah, and Teshuvat Hamishkal

The Mechanism of “Nosei Avon” – Passing Over the First One

What does nosei avon (bearing iniquity) mean? Yes, I don’t know. There’s a trick, the Almighty doesn’t count any one sin. It says so in Toras Hareshaim. The first two don’t count, or the first three, there’s a dispute. And afterwards, passing over the first one. There are never any sins.

What’s the meaning? No, I mean that I’m quite sure that the Gemara speaks of this. It’s a comparison. That’s what it means. What it means to say is, that the first time that he did the sin, he doesn’t really want it. Okay, he wants it, he doesn’t want it. He has charatah (regret). He has charatah, you understand, and he’s forgiven. Not that there are no sins, he’s forgiven.

Chazakah – Three Times Makes the Person

After three times, three times he has a chazakah [chazakah: a presumption established by three repetitions]. That’s a chazakah. Chazakah means that this is you. Ah, you want it now once and for all. It wasn’t a mistake, it wasn’t “lo mikra kara lanu” (it didn’t happen to us by chance), it was deliberate, you’re the one, you’re the one, all the sins come back, retroactively, not just the first one, the first one should come back.

You’re the kind of person who loves to do the bad thing, you’re a bad person, you do it with will, you’re liable to do it with will, you’re liable [mafra: paying retroactively]. Maybe you became a bad person then, I don’t know, you can ask whether we start counting from the third, or whether we count… But later he says, I have hana’ah [hana’ah: pleasure, benefit]… Certainly, the hana’ah later makes a difference.

The Foundation: We Judge the Person, Not the Acts

Make yourself now like this, it’s that person. So, and therefore, it really works with retroactive liability. One is liable in the sense, because we judge a person, we don’t judge acts. It doesn’t say in the Gemara that we judge an act. I know, the Gemara says Rav, I mean in the sense that the Tanya [Tanya: foundational Chabad Chasidic text] is right, I mean that it’s simple pshat (straightforward interpretation).

And the Rambam [Rambam: Maimonides] already says this, in “shokelin alav da’ato shel tamim de’os” (they weigh upon him his complete mind), we don’t count numbers of mitzvos. The Tanya says, how can it be, one measures according to all things, we judge the person, we don’t judge his account of acts.

“Hana’ah Sheleachar” – When One Begins to Love the Sin

And therefore, it really makes a difference what kind of person you are, and therefore, if a person started from a bit, he started to love it, “kol avonosav lema’an shefoso harav oseh atzmo” [kol avonotav lema’an shefoso harav oseh atzmo: all his sins are brought back to punish him], there’s an explicit pasuk (verse).

The sin you did when you didn’t yet love it, now you already love it. You can still come and say, “Ribono shel Olam” [Ribono shel Olam: Master of the Universe], or whatever, Ribono shel Olam, “forgive me [mechilah: forgiveness], I didn’t mean it, I don’t love it.” You already love it. When you started, you already loved it, true? You don’t have charatah.

Charatah in a Broader Sense

That is, you don’t have charatah. This isn’t the Rambam’s sense of charatah, this is a broader sense of charatah. Not the sense of charatah like “charatah al hashtar” [charatah al hashtar: regret over a legal document]. Charatah that you’re happy to be that kind of person.

The Joke with the Jerusalemite Jew in Tel Aviv

So what do you want from me? There’s the joke, yes? I mean that the joke is that he meets a Jerusalemite Jew in Tel Aviv, and one spoke of bad places, and he’s even wearing a shtreimel [shtreimel: fur hat worn by Chasidic men] perhaps, but what are you doing? As the Gemara says, one who can’t, doesn’t know what to do, is “yedecha makom penei mekorim ozrim.” Fine, why are you visiting me? If it will be, it will be built on Shabbos [Shabbos: the Sabbath]. Yes, he does now, he understands that he’ll be under duress [oness: under duress]. That’s the Gemara that we mentioned, the Tosafos [Tosafos: medieval Talmudic commentaries] and the…

“Out of Character” – When an Act Is Not the Person

So, I have it like this, with this I spend time thinking about this. So, there’s a time when he did one sin, the act is the same act. But the person, he didn’t mean the act so strongly, he really didn’t mean it. He didn’t love it, he did it because he did it, he didn’t do it playfully. Someone else like a shed (demon) did it. But it’s almost like a shed did it, because it’s acts, one says it doesn’t, how in order something, right? It’s out of character. Yes? It wasn’t in his character.

What does it matter if it’s in his character? Not because it makes a difference, if some leniency [kulah: leniency] makes it, it makes the forgiveness [selichah: forgiveness] easier. It’s not his character. It’s not his character.

And regarding this, what people say for example, that there come, yes, there are people who say that something can become duress retroactively, after many years he had charatah, he didn’t mean it, he didn’t want to have, whoever it is under duress, it’s true according to what we’re saying. We have a source that people are never completely crazy, even people who are confused, are never completely crazy, they always have a point. But people are mixed up and not organized.

Digression: The Rogatchover – Kiddushin Is a “Davar Hamitmashtei’ach”

Certainly, to want something is a life story, it’s not a thing. That’s the opposite, the one who says, I agreed, I said yes, I wrote pshat in the sefer with my own hands. That’s not enough. It’s not enough for almost nothing, even for a kinyan [kinyan: legal acquisition] it’s enough. A kinyan, what should one do? The world works this way, one can buy back today, one would have bought back, that’s how it goes.

But anything that has a more actual connection with a person, like the Rogatchover [Rogatchover: Rabbi Yosef Rosen, 1858-1936, renowned Talmudic genius] said that kiddushin [kiddushin: Jewish marriage] is a davar hamitmashtei’ach [davar hamitmashtei’ach: something that continues over time], I mean that he was right. The Rogatchover said that when a person is mekadesh [mekadesh: sanctifies/marries] his wife, every day he is mekadesh her again, because it’s kiddushin again. He’s right.

The Essence of Kiddushin Is the Ongoing Ratzon

A kinyan means, kiddushin means that this is the way I am your husband and you are my wife. Yes? Why am I your, why am I a chasan [chasan: groom] and you my wife? Why am I, I’m speaking in learning terms even, why am I, why is she an eishes ish [eishes ish: a married woman]? Because I have, you know why? Technically, one tells me, you know why? Because one day I went, I gave a ring, one said “harei at mekudeshes” [harei at mekudeshes: behold you are sanctified to me], I agreed, regarding this. That’s not the reason.

Whoever says that this is completely crazy [terifah meturefes: completely crazy]. Do you think that halachah [halachah: Jewish law] is so disconnected from reality [metzi’us: reality]? Certainly, the reality is, this makes a prohibition, one wants to have an order, one needs to have a document, that without the document it doesn’t work, as halachah is very good. But the actual, the essence [mahus: essence] of the kiddushin is, the ratzon [ratzon: will] becomes more every day, sometimes it becomes less, a bit according to how one gives oneself.

I know, there is, there is, it takes a long time, having a wedding [chasunah: wedding] takes a long time, a whole year. One learned the weekly portion [sidrah: Torah portion], a whole year it takes to have a wedding, true? He said one year, for a person who isn’t one with one year, he doesn’t know if he wants her a whole year, maybe he wants her only in the winter and not in the summer, God forbid [chas v’shalom: God forbid].

Now the kinyan becomes. You ask, regarding this doesn’t one need a get [get: Jewish divorce document]? No, halachah makes the cut-off there. But the actual law, the actual, not even the ratzon, takes the whole time. Yes? Therefore, is what I’m saying correct?

“Over Aveirah Umisbaiyesh Bah” – Charatah After the Act

Therefore it comes out, and this is what we’re talking about regarding charatah, it comes out a very important thing, that “over aveirah umisbaiyesh bah” [over aveirah umisbaiyesh bah: one who transgresses and is ashamed of it], one who did a sin and has charatah about it, that means he doesn’t enjoy it afterwards. At the time of the act [bishas ma’aseh: at the time of the act] he enjoyed it, because if not he wouldn’t have done it. Sometimes he also didn’t, I don’t know, some crazy act. Something was at the time of the act there was pleasure, true.

But a person isn’t just a minute, a person is his whole person. But later he feels, he really doesn’t hold it, he feels bad about it, it doesn’t make his life better. Not just that he holds it was a mistake, that’s exactly charatah, he doesn’t feel good with it.

So now it’s simple, that when we judge him, that we look at the act, we say, now it was a mistake, and we understand him. It wasn’t a mitzvah, it hasn’t yet become, it’s not “lo nitnasah zechus,” it became shegagos [shegagos: unintentional sins]. It became something without knowledge [sheblo da’as: without knowledge], unintentional like without knowledge. The full da’as of this person doesn’t hold by that sin. This fits very well, in a theoretical world it fits.

The Difficult Case: Had Pleasure and Then Teshuvah

It also means, I now take the prayers [tefilos: prayers] that we say on Yom Kippur [Yom Kippur: Day of Atonement] and I think, and he says so by many kinds of prayers, and listen to me, when I should know I have charatah, and when it means that I say that I’m praying, I would never complain about it.

I know, imagine that I go steal [ganven: steal] from this Jew today money, and I won’t live with a good life [chaim tovim: good life] for two years. Whatever, I really lived a good year, I enjoyed myself, but now I live a good year. Two years later, for whatever reason, I grab onto teshuvah [teshuvah: repentance], and I start to feel bad, and he tells me, I want him to forgive me [nochel: forgive].

And I answered, I made a bride for him, I lived very well, and I want… And if I don’t think now that I really had two good years, and I feel but in selichos [selichos: penitential prayers] and as we say now, one must say no no no, you can’t say that you had two good years, no, and he says really, I feel bad, I realize that the two years were really misery for me.

How can one really do teshuvah? That I really became blinded, and so one tries to say, I was so ours, and to return from the whole side. I stole from him, I stole from him, I had a good year, now I grab myself crazy, I had a whole person’s life. It seems that this is still a piece, one can’t so simply… Of course, I wanted charatah, but do I need to have charatah? I had pleasure. I lived two years like a wealthy man [gabir: wealthy man], I stole his money.

Of course, so that’s why. Now you can understand. You grasp that not only Rabbeinu Yonah, not only also the taker. You grasp? Because why? Because, why? Of course, it’s hard. You have… Not only… You ask me like it’s the past. Like you also… Really, it really was quite tasty to have two years’ worth of money, and afterwards I have teshuvah afterwards also. Yeah. Exactly.

Rabbeinu Yonah’s Teshuvat Hamishkal

Really regarding this comes Rabbeinu Yonah [Rabbeinu Yonah: 13th century ethicist and Talmudist] and he says, no, no, no, you sit two years suffering for it. It’s not enough. That’s why you give him. I don’t feel light, let’s say technically. Corresponding to this [keneged zeh: corresponding to this] perhaps more, I don’t know. The Chasidei Ashkenaz you were a sod. Give charity [tzedakah: charity] so much money, besides what you return to him, give so much charity. Fast, go with the lead.

Because because the Rambam, people say that teshuvat hamishkal [teshuvat hamishkal: repentance of equal weight] is what the Rambam says explicitly the reasoning [sevara: logical reasoning] of teshuvat hamishkal. A teshuvat hamishkal has some such reasoning the freak. But of course, you can be, okay, it’s a counting of the physical penance. I don’t know, but if we’re talking that it’s a cause you, is your emotional pain, is your you don’t know, physical pain and emotional pain go together. So he says… Every time you spend the money it costs me now. Yes.

Of course it’s not simple.

The “Character Witness” Analogy – And Its Limits

Of course, in other words, or let’s say something like this, could you do like people go in the court? I grasped that one can give, if people hold that the courts make more or less sense, one can give examples of this. I don’t know when courts make any sense, but one goes, one says such a character witness, one says that one really stole, but for three years, already several years that he doesn’t steal, and what he sits in the study hall [beis hamedrash: study hall] early in the morning, and he goes to prison he sits there by the barber. Does it make a difference? A little bit, it makes a difference. Does it help? You see that it helps?

But they say he’s reformed, he became better. What does it help that the one who was murdered, poor thing, that the other one became a tzaddik? Even worse, now a tzaddik too. Stay a scoundrel in prison like that. Do you understand?

The Decisive Distinction: How One Talks About the Crime

But if he feels bad, the judge reckons that he feels bad, what does it matter to him? The scholarly reasoning, that which people reckon with teshuva in this sense. The reasoning, with teshuva, not with teshuva, Rabbeinu Yonah’s teshuva, but with the fact that he feels bad. That he doesn’t talk about his crime with a smile.

He doesn’t say, “Come on, in practice, I had a million dollars, and the interest never goes back to the other person, not even a bit.” Then they give him a greater punishment, right? Why? Because you’re still that person. Yes, ah, you’re still holding onto the deed, you’re going to do it again. No, you’re still such a person who does such things.

But what then, it wasn’t worth it, they put you in prison, you agree to pay back, no problem. You even have regret, it’s a shame, it would have been better to do legitimate business and not steal, no problem. Because you’re not the sort of person who is against it, there is such a sort of person who is such a criminal. Something of a punishment is fitting for such a…

Forgiveness, Teshuva, and the Difficulty of True Regret

The Problem of Sufficient Regret for Serious Transgressions

Maggid Shiur:

If a person, and it’s true, something is hard, and he will live a thousand years he won’t be able to feel bad enough to pay you for how well it went for you, that’s indeed a problem. That’s why, anyway, the level of teshuva has all kinds of issues, it has many levels, perhaps you must die until chillul Hashem, until you die. But according to the matter, obviously, there are different levels of atonement that teach about the severity of the transgression. It says in the poskim, we don’t need to bring the Rambam, it says in the later poskim, that you must forgive, you’re still hurting yourself.

I don’t feel that you’re holding yourself back so much. We’re talking, everything is in reason, it’s a general principle. Of course, it says in the poskim that if someone spreads slander about you, you never have to forgive him. Just like chillul Hashem, he desecrates my name, he can die and I won’t forgive him. Let’s say someone goes around with a sermon, yes, and after a few years, please forgive me, I won’t forgive you, I have regret.

The Great Principle: Reading Books with Qualifications

Let’s see, again, we’ve taken down, this is not a shiur on forgiveness. I want to see here a great principle in Torah, okay? First of all, I was disrespectful to my teacher, there’s another word. One minute, one minute. I’ll tell him, I wanted to be disrespectful to my teacher, a great principle, on all books. What’s the difference? What’s going on here? Perhaps it’s some simple explanation? But that which is true.

It says, I don’t know, on all books it says, “where it says gentile, the intention is not to a gentile but to…”. Someone said, in all Hasidic books it says on the title page, “where it says righteous person, the intention is not to the righteous people of our time but to those who were truly righteous in the past”. Yes.

So, the same way, on all books it says, “this book is meant to be read with qualifications and not without qualifications”. When a person says, I want to say the true test, when such a law is written, according to him too, you shouldn’t be cruel. It means like this, it doesn’t mean in the manner that the other person comes, one should certainly be cruel to him. It certainly doesn’t mean also not about the one who just took my place in shul and he already apologized three times. Then one doesn’t need to say the law. He’s really an animal, he doesn’t need to fall upon.

It means, exactly on the case when you’re wavering. Yes, but I would, on the other hand I can understand him, then the Rambam says, don’t be an animal. That’s what you mean.

The Practical Application of Forgiveness

As long as you’re angry at a friend, you know when you ask a question. You don’t ask a question, because otherwise you don’t ask questions. No, you don’t make sense, I also wanted. It’s not a question. Forgive him. No, no, no, the Rebbe’s heart is not a reference. That’s a bit stubborn. A bit? Somehow be a bit forgiving. Even very stubborn. But that’s it, I can’t forgive myself, I’ll give two years of time. There’s no such thing. It could be it’s not forgiving. Be a bit forgiving. But it can be for twenty years. Be forgiving. I want to forgive. I want to forgive. I want to forgive.

Rabbi Nachman: The Difficulty of Truly Feeling the Pain of Sins

Perhaps it’s really very hard to feel so bad. I’m telling you about this, Rabbi Nachman says, if he merits to feel the pain of his sins, about which you’ll have such an expression, place good for me to come in immediately forgive him. And he says that… yes, does it say an expression?

I’ll tell you, No, what I’m saying is that it’s actually something… He’s saying that it’s very hard to realize that, right? Because whatever it means a sin, most people, they hold roughly that it was quite good. Okay, they tell him he should feel bad.

I’ll show you what… as written in Likutei Moharan, a generation that is hard as the 100,000 days. Truly when he feels the pain of his sins, that is when he circumcises the foreskin of his heart, for as long as his heart is covered and sealed, it’s impossible to truly feel. But if he will do “and you shall circumcise the foreskin of your hearts”, he will feel truly how it hurts him, then his pain will be his reward, and then whatever.

What does one know the Torah? Here one brings the assumption, the continuation of the Torah, the world here doesn’t want to hear. Then he will nullify, all his children will also feel whatever. This means “and you shall circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your offspring”, and this Elul is a segulah for stubbornness. So, so it should not be.

The point is that… that the first line here says that it’s actually very hard, because apart from “a sin becomes sweet to a person’s heart”, what should he now mean to say that he still loves it? “One who commits a sin and repeats it, it becomes to him as if permitted”, it becomes a mitzvah too. You know that it says in the Gemara that the third time it becomes permitted, and the fourth time it becomes a mitzvah, yes?

Different Types of Forgiveness

Student:

Rabbi Yitzchak, I think there is what he’s asking, he’s asking this. I think there is another type of forgiveness, but I think the other type of forgiveness has nothing to do with regret, it has to do with commitment for the future.

I know, someone once asked me, someone gave stolen money, and a second person could ask me, I ask you that you should forgive that person, because it bothers me. I want to pay you back the theft. No, and I want to tell that person once, I actually did forgive, because you asked me. And the other person didn’t admit, but someone said, I ask you, I don’t want two people who have a theft from me, I should still be with one or the other, I want to forgive. Okay, no, I think there is a certain type of forgiveness or regret that a person can do, which perhaps is really not regret, it’s a commitment for the future.

Maggid Shiur:

Now, I can’t cry to you further. I say, there is such a type of forgiveness. There is such a type of forgiveness. There is such a type of forgiveness. No, the Rambam I think I don’t mean. It could be that he doesn’t mean. These types are a regular run. I don’t want to mean the regular run. I can’t now drive to save on the two million dollars, two years.

So now goes… No! No, the first thing I must do is make sure I don’t go from now further. I don’t want to think now. A day when the Rebbe says, I’ll be a tzaddik, I’ll finish before the two years. It could be that it’s another type of regret. Okay, okay, we’re talking now from the secret. Could be, I know.

Maybe there’s a lot of ways to forgive. That’s why there are thirteen attributes of mercy. There’s a lot about how to forgive. But not all of them are equal. On the words, someone says I forgive what is my brother, I’m my cousin, I have no strength. Marriage relationships have a bad temperament. That’s a sort of forgiveness from the aspect of the marriage relationship, that the marriage relationship should be able to continue from him. He doesn’t become exempt. It’s something another level. It’s another level. It’s another level. It’s another level. It’s another counter. It’s another counter.

So, do you understand? That’s the point.

The Difficulty of True Regret

So, it comes out that the process of feeling bad, this is now something important to understand, I can modify this more. They spoke to all the people unintentionally. So, the thing is like this, that almost no one commits sins intentionally, right? I’m not talking about unintentionally. He doesn’t commit sins intentionally. He had a great evil inclination, he gave in.

And this I want to bring out. There are two types, this now, let’s understand, there are two, this I want to bring out further. Let’s do it again, I’ll make a review of last week’s shiur and I’ll weave this in.

Review: Almost No One Commits Sins Intentionally

There are two things. I say no one commits a sin intentionally. What does that mean? Right?

The Analogy of Russia

So, imagine that we are in Russia and it’s very hard to be a Jew. I’ll tell you, in Boro Park it’s much harder to be a Jew than in Russia. Actually, yes, much harder. You know why? Because a Jew means someone who plans his life on the account that there is a God. In Boro Park you don’t need God for anything, because there’s a system.

So, in Russia, every Jew had to stand firm somewhere on the Almighty. And almost every single one made a bris milah, almost not almost everyone, very many, somewhere he did something because it’s a mitzvah, and he did it, he lived that this is the right thing to do, and let the whole world burst, and the Almighty will help.

In Boro Park there’s nothing to do like that. Do you understand? Yes, for example, they don’t throw out of cheder. It’s hard, no one pays because they don’t throw out of cheder. No, not no one, you pay, but if you wouldn’t have paid… He’s already holding a step earlier, he already pays beforehand, because he doesn’t want to fight at all.

Other things, why do you send to a Jewish cheder? Not because you have an option to send to the gentile school which is free, and you send to the Jewish cheder because one must, because a Jew must. Imagine, if there’s a Jew who would live in Freehold, he can send to the gentile school, he pays fifty, twenty thousand dollars, I don’t know what a year, a hundred thousand dollars a year, whatever, in order to send his children to cheder, he’s a Jew, he’s a person at the table, one can talk to him.

He lives in Lakewood, it’s really such the lowest level of hell, both he doesn’t have money he must pay, and he doesn’t have the merit of such a person who is self-sacrificing to send his children to cheder.

Student:

Okay, what do I come in here? I don’t have an answer to this.

Maggid Shiur:

But what I want to say is, this is a difficulty. Okay, it’s very hard to go to Russia and be an honest Jew, hard to go to Boro Park and be an honest Jew. And one understands the difficulty. Everyone understands that one can’t be able to… Everyone knows, a gentile comes, a person from Russia, he doesn’t know about tefillin, about Shabbos, one brings him close. No one says that he goes to hell for eating pork.

It wasn’t even a life-threatening situation. Okay, one could calmly live there without eating pork even once, and it was even about getting kosher meat. One doesn’t even get imprisoned for this most of the time. One could, one signed up and waited another four months in line. Everyone had to wait in line for eggs, one had to wait four months for a piece of meat. One could, it was survivable. Okay, let’s say, I don’t have real facts, right?

And nevertheless, everyone understands, it’s very hard, one can’t have complaints. Right? One understands the other person.

The Comparison Between Russia and Boro Park

That’s one thing, you understand clearly that that Jew comes Yom Kippur to shul, and the rabbi gives a sermon, “Gentlemen, a Jew may not eat pork,” and he feels bad, and the Almighty immediately forgives him. Simple. We also forgive, right? All the more so, a fortiori, people are much harder to forgive than the Almighty. A fortiori that the Almighty forgives. The Almighty is a Master of forgiveness, Lord of forgiveness, Gracious One who abundantly forgives.

But when a Jew comes and he says, I was terribly afraid… like the one who says, “my evil inclination overpowered me,” right? I have an evil inclination, “this is the inclination and that is the inclination.”

When a person comes and he says, I live in Boro Park, I have another sort of field. In Boro Park, Boro Park is not the field, let’s say he lives a bit outside of Boro Park, I don’t know what. There are all kinds of foods and drinks and women and commandments and good deeds, and so on and so forth, and he has a great desire to say.

Regret Over the Sin: The Simple Meaning of Teshuva

Two Types of Sinners: Coercion Versus Desire

So, but when a Jew comes and he says, I was terribly afraid, a Jew who says, yitzri takfani, my head is full of my inclination and I am troubled by my inclination. When a person comes and he says, I live in Boro Park, I have another sort of joy in Boro Park, in Boro Park is not the joy. Let’s say he lives a bit outside of Boro Park, I don’t know what, there are all kinds of foods and drinks and women and mitzvos and good deeds and sins and so on and so forth.

And he has a great desire to be, he loves to look at the movies, he loves to hang around with the gentiles, he loves to eat their food, and so on. And he loves to take other people’s money, many things that he loves. I don’t know if it’s actually a ta’avah (desire, lust), one must say it’s a ta’avah, it’s a chush ha’mash (sense of touch), the money, another topic. And it’s very hard for him, he doesn’t get it so quickly, not so quickly, true, why not? And he loves it, it’s also tasty, you should also use your ta’avah as an excuse. It’s not enough that it’s tasty all these things, you’ll take, may the Almighty forgive.

The Difference Between Us and Ta’avah

The first Jew shouldn’t need to have charatah (regret, remorse) at all. He is essentially in a state of ones (compulsion, force), of shogeg (unintentional) was ones, something like that. The Jew who suffers from taste, he suffers from the cheilek ha’ta’anug (the pleasure aspect), from the tzad ha’chesed k’ilu (the kindness aspect, so to speak), the tzad ha’ta’anug. And it’s much harder, and you throw yourself again what was last week, that you should give much harder processes for the time of ta’avah, for the time of ones, for the time of hechreich (necessity).

Although we ask, both are difficult, both can say that it’s hard to be a Jew, hard to be a Jew because he has many ta’avos, and that’s the reality at the time. It’s hard to be a Jew because it’s hard to buy kosher food. It’s not the same. Why aren’t they the same? Because this you love and this you don’t love.

The Comparison: L’chol Ha’am B’shgagah

But nevertheless, in a certain sense both are similar. What are both similar? That l’chol ha’am b’shgagah (for all the people unintentionally), no one does aveiros (sins) because he thinks it’s good. He does it because he loves it. What is something in a certain sense against him, against his da’as (knowledge, consciousness)? Something a higher level da’as? Something there is the question of how can a person have a stirah (contradiction) with himself? How it works exactly we’ll talk about later. But certainly, one of the great ingredients of contradiction with oneself is… how much he loves it. Right?

The one who goes against, let’s understand, the one who goes b’ones b’hechreich (by compulsion by necessity), by definition it’s not him, the gentile pushes him. Sometimes he pushes him literally with his hands, sometimes he pushes him by making the kosher food much more expensive. It’s hard, it’s an ones to me mi’bachutz (from outside). True? That’s one of our definitions from last week. The one who loves it very much, it’s not mi’bachutz, it’s from himself, it’s m’aneh es atzmo (torments himself). It’s a problem.

The Role of Tzar as Proof

How do you see though that you don’t love it? In your tzar (pain). True? I understand it’s haflah u’flah (wondrous and amazing), because recently he made the joke, but the simple… It’s an amazing thing, they say, one begins Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement), one begins m’hispalel im vegonnim (praying with “and those who”), one tells with the Chida (Rabbi Chaim Yosef David Azulai) that one speaks about the muhrna”us (acronym for apostate, executed, forced convert, and compelled). It’s an amazing thing, how does the muhrna”us come in now? Here one sees on Yom Kippur that we are all muhrna”us, you know what we are forced, that’s actually Yom Kippur, one must be actually aniyus (afflicted, humble), we are broken.

L’chol ha’am b’shgagah (for all the people unintentionally), this means that they are broken. What does it mean by those? People think that charatah is something fancy, because they’re a great guy. Charatah means very simply. Charatah that Rabbeinu (our teacher/master) spoke about is, that I love their things which I myself don’t love, I’m unfortunately all mixed up. It costs me my own health that I love these things, and I emphasize the time, it costs me a bit more health, I need to give more kaporos pidyon (atonement redemption) for Yom Kippur, I need to say longer through chet (sin), because I have a longer list of chata’im (sins).

The Gemara About Longer Vidui

Today there’s no difference, I once made long enough for everyone, but once counted there was a small list, and there were people who were seen with the shorter. It says in the Gemara (Talmud), about this one makes omdim tzofim mishtachavim rochim (standing, watching, bowing, spacious). How does one know? Even if he speaks quietly, it takes him longer. One must make some kind of kevi’ah (fixed arrangement) how long the vidui (confession) takes, so he shouldn’t be embarrassed. I unfortunately have a longer list. He feels bad.

What is your badness? Not something mysterious. Just bad, just even bad is that he loves things. The tzar is very important, because the tzar tells us that not completely one who has all these things, he has such a ta’avah, true, it’s actually a problem, that if he were a tzaddik (righteous person) he wouldn’t have the ta’avah, but if he were a rasha gamur (complete wicked person) he would perhaps come [?] Yom Kippur. Elah mai (rather what)? He is a shogeg. He is somewhere between ratzon gamur (complete will) and ones gamur he is, and therefore one is mochel (forgives) him, that for a shogeg there is mechilah (forgiveness).

The Dispute of the Rishonim About “Yilbash Shachorim”

For a shogeg it’s not l’chatchilah (from the outset, ideally), one can’t make a real rasha. On this account one may never sin. On this account of the previous type sometimes one may, on this account one may never sin l’chatchilah, except according to one shitah (opinion) in Tosafos (medieval Talmudic commentaries) in Maseches Kiddushin (Tractate Kiddushin), the machlokes rishonim (dispute among early authorities) whether there is a heter (permission) of “yilbash shachorim” (let him wear black – i.e., sin in private).

One must know, there is a machlokes rishonim, everyone who needs to know the halachah (Jewish law) is, if someone has a strong yetzer hara (evil inclination) burning him, it’s a machlokes rishonim whether he sometimes has a heter to sin l’chatchilah. It’s still a lot for the [?] with everything was on a chulshas ha’da’as (weakness of mind), with two perushim (interpretations) in Tosafos, in Kiddushin there is one Tosafos that one may, I forget how one learns it, and in Eruvin it says in Tosafos that one may, in Kiddushin it says in Tosafos that one may not. It’s a machlokes in Tosafos. But al kol panim (in any case), it’s certainly not a normal heter l’chatchilah, but for the aveiros one receives selichah (forgiveness) for this.

The Rambam’s Order of Teshuvah

Therefore, this is the normal order. People, the Rambam (Maimonides), the Rambam is fancy. Every year one sins, and one comes to shul, the Almighty is mochel. One speaks of all these things that people sin, but don’t sin b’meizid gamur (completely intentionally), with ratzon gamur. They sin and they themselves hate the sinning, and memeilah (consequently) one does teshuvah (repentance). And teshuvah means one has charatah.

In this sense, in the simple understanding of teshuvah, that everyone thinks that teshuvah means charatah, this is not the complete teshuvah. The Rambam speaks of those where a person is completely a meizid (intentional sinner), he doesn’t want to be good at all, or he should actually love to be good, all levels that we’re not speaking about in today’s shiur. But today’s shiur is also a very important part for all the parts. This is the main thing.

Tzar as a Sign of Ba’al Ta’avah

Tzar is an important thing. I have more things, again, what is enough, it’s enough more for the shiur. It’s right, it’s right. Simple understanding.

Student: I don’t understand what you’re saying. The first part I don’t get. It has nothing.

Maggid Shiur: This I want to do, that this was in another paper, and this is another shiur. I’m talking, this is too connected with this. This is too connected. This is two nothings.

Student: Yes, the first part.

Maggid Shiur: Okay, there is another shiur here in the note, but he said, Reb Michel Kortzer said that a Jew must prepare himself, he must learn kavanos (intentions, meditations) of Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year). Do I need to be that one, he’s not from kavanos.

Student: No, it’s another topic, it’s another whole topic.

Maggid Shiur: What is connected here is the thing, that I can say so, true, I can say the opposite, it’s not really connected, but it’s another word. How do people think that they are ba’al ta’avah (one who has strong desires)? How do you know that you’re a ba’al ta’avah? A ba’al ta’avah is not one who loves things. Everyone loves. And not everyone loves too much. But what does it mean he loves too much? How does one see from the signs? It doesn’t say here exactly so.

What is a sign that you have a great ba’al ta’avah? The sign is when he doesn’t have it. Sometimes there wasn’t in the store the flavor that he loves, whether he has tzar from it. That’s a great sign. There is someone, a ba’al ta’avah, that you should be that there’s someone who has it too much. How does it say that he has it too much? That it’s missing for him, it costs him, it hurts him.

That someone who has little ahavah (love) is not, he doesn’t think about it another extra minute. That’s not any [?] ahavah. That’s something a has has, he doesn’t want to have, he has enjoy, he can make a brachah (blessing) on it. Do you understand what I’m saying?

The Connection to the Main Theme

This is connected with what I’m saying. That what costs me that I don’t have, and in a certain sense shows more what bothers me that I do have. Therefore the charatah of Yom Kippur is more true than a whole year, because I hold you, why not? An aveirah came, I did it. But you see that I don’t hold of it, it costs me, it hurts me, so it’s a stronger sign that I don’t hold of it then. Because the pain has to do with what my da’as says that it’s not good, not what came in a moment also to forget oneself.

I mean that the tzar is almost not there… There is tzar that is from a moment, someone gives me a tzipp (pinch), it hurts me. But that I suffer because I don’t have something, not that it’s mechunah (mechanical) and immediately that it hurts me, that I suffer because I don’t have the ma’achal (food) that I’m very accustomed to. This is usually a thing that is only from a certain hergel (habit), from a certain… that this is me.

Therefore when a person says that it hurts him that he sinned, this has much more to do with what he is, than that he had hana’ah (pleasure). To this, the Tosafos asks earlier a kushya (question), that it can’t be that one day he has here and a whole year he sins. You must understand that tzar is worth much more than a ta’anug.

Psychological Observation

By the way, the psychological researcher [?], the pain, whatever, there is a lot of ways to show tzar. It’s called pain aversion. People will pay much more, that they shouldn’t have a bit of tzar, than that they should have much ta’anug.

So, what does this have to do with this? Because tzar one has with what I am. The claim can be that now is now tasty. But I’m not speaking of tzar, I’m not speaking of tzar of a freak. That’s a tzar, certainly but… Or as I say, tzar that I don’t have right now the thing, the apple strudel that I eat every week. Except that there are Rebbes who need to have Shabbos (Sabbath), the foods that’s another level. One doesn’t speak of the te’amos (reasons). But… well, this is the hesbor (explanation) on the inyan (matter) of charatah al ha’chet, and I think that it’s the hesbor on the normal Jews that this is what they do when they do teshuvah, and it’s a whole good understanding.

Conclusion

I only wanted to touch on it, because even I wanted to show that even other understandings should do teshuvah, because there was nothing wrong with the simple understanding. Good.