Laws of Repentance Chapter 2: The Nature of True Repentance

Introduction: The Transition from Chapter 1 to Chapter 2

The holy Rambam says, Laws of Repentance Chapter 2. Basically, it’s like this: in the first chapter we learned, one can say, the mitzvah (commandment) of teshuva (repentance). The mitzvah of teshuva, the kapara (atonement), kapara is part of the mitzvah of teshuva, yes? A Jew must do teshuva, and therefore he must achieve atonement, it’s part of the same halacha (law). It has rules and laws about when one must say viduy (confession), a Jew must say viduy, when the kapara takes effect, and so forth.

Now the Rambam comes in Chapter 2 to say what is true teshuva. There’s even a certain contradiction, and here he makes teshuva easier, he doesn’t even say that one must actually say viduy. He is explaining essentially, he says yes in a word, but he is explaining the essence of teshuva, what is true teshuva.

Leniency or Stringency? Two Approaches to Complete Repentance

What do I mean? There is, one can say, a leniency and a stringency.

What is the leniency? One can say that teshuva gemura (complete repentance) means a weaker teshuva than before. Previously we learned teshuva with viduy, with the divisions of kapara. The essence of teshuva, the reality of teshuva, not the mitzvah of teshuva. And what does teshuva mean? Teshuva means not sinning anymore.

Or one can say the opposite, teshuva means an even higher level. Previously we said that it’s Yom Kippur, and the person did teshuva, and he wouldn’t want to sin again, but unfortunately many Jews fall again. Does teshuva gemura mean a higher level of teshuva?

The Approach of the Chatam Sofer: Complete Repentance in Halacha

I see he brings here several approaches. He says that the Chatam Sofer says teshuva gemura means, the Rambam means here regarding halacha, that there is a law for example that a criminal is not valid for testimony, yes, a wicked person who commits violence. For this, it doesn’t help that he said viduy. For this, one must know that he is no longer a wicked person who commits violence. For this, one needs teshuva gemura.

Right, but meanwhile it also doesn’t help what he says here. He must show, he must be able to demonstrate, he must return a lost object in a significant matter and so forth. It’s not exactly the same, there are things, there is one who misappropriates a deposit, one who misappropriates regarding a woman, where there must be that he again has an opportunity to swindle, and he didn’t swindle. Right, with a woman it’s more. It’s more than that, there one must be able to see, and so forth, it’s a different place, there are boundaries there, which has more to do with how the court should know that he actually did teshuva. Here we’re speaking more about the obligation toward Heaven.

The World of Action Versus the Philosophical Essence

I think that the main thing is that previously it was more about the world of action, more about what stands. Now the Rambam says, he says the truth, often there is such that one must squeeze into a halachic chapter, understand specific laws, afterwards there is the essence, you can say the philosophical idea, the foundation, the essential foundation of teshuva.

Perhaps if one would go into the Sefer HaChinuch which was mentioned earlier, the Rambam says that the manner of teshuva is with viduy. Now he says, the teshuva itself without the mitzvah, if teshuva were not a mitzvah, but it would only be a reality that one must do teshuva, he says, then what does the reality of doing teshuva mean? Yes, but this he says is then the mitzvah, this is the understanding from Sefer HaChinuch.

Law 1: What is Complete Repentance

The Language of the Rambam

The Rambam says, What is complete repentance? This is when one encounters the same thing in which he transgressed, he encounters again the same test, he encounters again a possibility, an opportunity, for something in which he already transgressed in the past. And it is possible for him to do it, he has the ability to sin again, and he separates himself and does not do it because of repentance, but he separates himself, he holds himself back from it, he separates himself from it, and he does not do it, and he did not do it because of repentance, because he did teshuva. Not, not from fear, not, he didn’t do it because he perhaps fears someone, and not from weakness of strength, because he didn’t become weak or he doesn’t have today the courage to do the sin, rather he does it because of teshuva, because he wants to no longer do any sins. Yes, good. This is teshuva.

The Example of One Who Had Relations with a Woman in Sin

In short, the Rambam explains, a wicked person who had relations with a woman in sin, a person had relations with a woman in sin, and now comes again an opportunity, and after a time he was secluded with her, he is exactly together with her alone.

Discussion: What Does “Secluded with Her” Mean?

Speaker 1: He doesn’t mean to say in a manner that he transgresses yichud (seclusion), because that itself is a sin. He means to say he again has the opportunity to sin with her. The truth is that it is indeed a transgression, because certainly in such a manner that he can sin, that is the prohibition of yichud. It’s no form. Yichud means being in a situation where one can sin. He certainly did the sin, but the Rambam doesn’t mean to say that. It can also mean he is again in her vicinity and he can make a phone call and be with her. He has the opportunity.

Speaker 2: The Rebbe says, the Rebbe says, secluded with her, secluded with her means actually, and he was secluded. This is difficult to say. He’s not speaking about life, which yichud, he’s speaking more one sees the teshuva. Okay.

Speaker 1: And again, yichud there is a manner in which one doesn’t transgress yichud just like that, but he can still… That manner is one transgresses yichud… If it’s in a manner that it’s enough that it could enable the sin, that’s the meaning of yichud. That’s certain, that one transgresses… Clear, plain simple yichud…

Innovation: Complete Repentance Even with Weaknesses

In the midst of teshuva he did, and then one sees that a teshuva is okay, as long as there is a boundary. Even if we’re already speaking of one who still turns around with women, not that he has stopped turning around. Then, certainly the true way of doing teshuva is not complete repentance. The true way of teshuva is to stop turning to places where there are women, I don’t know, for a year or two and such, that it becomes, but he’s going to say later, how for a year or two, I think, it says explicitly that one should actually not do this, but he says that even not, he is even simple, I say simple, what is true teshuva?

True teshuva is… I always, I agree I still go to the same places, and she still loves me, does she still? Does she still love me, but physically he can still do the sin, but from the side of teshuva, and again in the same vicinity I see…

Discussion: Yichud as a Boundary in Itself

Speaker 2: Yichud is not yichud and the Mordechai… Yes, but he means to say, perhaps not yichud that one is in another place, where there is someone who can hear more, and so forth. It’s different. Yichud is not if it was, on the sin itself, the sin is a transgression, the sin is. See how complete repentance… With the reason for this, what it means with that certain word, what it is difficult to say, would be repentance, when he holds himself back from the woman. One can say he heard that one can yes. Yichud is still just a boundary, for this, the sin is not. But it’s a boundary for this.

Speaker 1: But, according to what one should say, a complete penitent means from this is a complete penitent from the first woman that is, he doesn’t have complete repentance from the first yichud, for this there must be the next opportunity to transgress yichud, in truth, but also yichud, here there is a boundary in itself, this is a sin in itself, but it’s a boundary for sins. It’s not magic in halacha.

He is yes, he’s not a full penitent, he still doesn’t have control over all mitzvot, like one who from yichud he still was. He is yes, he is even more, he fulfilled what is in yichud before, even with the Almighty Himself. He’s a great tzaddik (righteous person), and I would give him notes. This is no trick.

You’re right, but I want to tell you, that it says complete penitent, does it mean that it’s a complete penitent, he actually gave up yichud. I think that one must praise the person, I would give credit to the person, okay? That he took on his sins, but on the contrary, one should not do it. On the contrary, one should do it. There were some commentators who say what should he do it, but on the contrary, one should not do it. But we’re speaking that even if it’s a manner, this is complete repentance. The Yerushalmi says. Okay.

Speaker 2: It could be that in this manner he also had suffering, perhaps this requires suffering.

Speaker 1: No, but I need to understand, what does he want to bring out? If one is not so, he has begun to become very careful about yichud, the simple one hasn’t solved his problem of having relations with the woman. Because, if it has a motive, what does yichud do? The yichud is not a thing, one can use everything. But sometimes it happens, very much not, but sometimes it happens.

Parable: The Alcoholic

One is, let’s say, an alcoholic, right? A normal person can drink in moderation, because a normal person drinks a little, and won’t get drunk. One is an alcoholic, and he says, I can’t, I can make a vow, I will absolutely not drink one glass, right? That person who can’t be a complete penitent, if the only way to repentance is to instantly run very far from the wine, perhaps he must do so, for his sake it is indeed worse, but a complete penitent is, that he still loves wine, but he learned to drink in moderation, not too much, for this brings out here in this approach, you say it’s not practical, you’re not serious, that you remain here? Anonymously, perhaps anonymously…

The Verse “Remember Your Creator in the Days of Your Youth”

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, which is remembering the Almighty in your young years, before the evil days come and the years arrive of which you will say I have no pleasure in them. The Rambam explains there very nicely, that one warns a person, do teshuva when you are still young, because then the proof is that you still have the strength and you would still have been able to sin.

Law 2: Repentance in the Days of Old Age

Because if the evil days have come, the older years, the years of bad, and years when then one no longer has desire, which means here lust, you don’t have then any capability, a desire. One says, ah he became older, he cast off his sins, he can’t say so, one is a hater of sin, he no longer has from this to speak in shul and begins not to send, that this is bad teshuva, but teshuva is when he was there with the strength.

The Amshinover Rebbe’s Innovation Regarding Blemish of the Covenant

Very good. I heard that the Amshinover Rebbe says, that many people struggle with sins of blemishing the covenant and so forth, he says that it’s actually teshuva to do, because since he is not… he doesn’t even need a woman, it’s from his own side, that every day he is essentially complete repentance.

If he holds himself back and he doesn’t need to make rectifications, because this is rectifications that speaks of one who doesn’t have complete repentance, if he is in the same situation, if he puts a filter etc. then he is already prevented from sin, another level, even if he doesn’t have and he holds himself back, this is complete repentance.

The Language of the Rambam: Repentance in the Days of Old Age

The Rambam says, And if he did not repent except in the days of his old age, what happens when a person couldn’t do the sin and he separated himself? He did teshuva when he already has no potential, when he is already old, at a time when it is impossible for him to do what he used to do, the Rambam says, even though it is not excellent repentance, but this one sees yes, complete means important excellent, he says no.

Okay yes, true. And even if it’s not excellent repentance, excellent perhaps, it is however good for him! It is excellent for him. It means… is he called a penitent? Because in practice… the point is not to become, not to become such… the point is that he no longer stumbles in sin, he no longer has such a thing. He says, ideal is so, but in practice this is also good. Anonymously, it’s also good this way. This is better than nothing, even if he is already old and he does teshuva in the days of his old age, this is also good. True. But one must say all this, remember your Creator in the days of your youth.

Question: Repentance of a Dying Person

And one explains his repentance, it was interesting, when he knows he is going to die, and what is relevant to say he will no longer sin, “I will not return to this sin ever”? One is going to die. But he had regret, it was true regret.

One takes, it’s like… interesting, because if we think that regret is only a preparation for what I will never sin again, it’s not relevant when he’s going to die. Well, yes, one can understand. It could be from the other side the… the…

Law 2 (Continued): Repentance on the Day of Death

Speaker 1:

Because in practice, the point is not to show tricks, to show that he can, the point is that one no longer stumbles in sin.

One says ideal is so, but in practice it’s also good this way. The sin didn’t become better not to do. The Rambam says, “even if he transgressed all his days and did teshuva on the day of his death”, so he did it. He says already earlier also, I saw it all the years. What does he say there? The main thing is remembering his Creator. And there is truth what you say, it is true.

Question: How Can One Speak of Repentance on the Day of Death?

Speaker 1:

But it’s an interesting thing, when he knows he is going to die, what is relevant to say that he will no longer sin? He’s going to die. But he had true regret. It’s like interesting, because if we think that regret is only a preparation for what I will never sin again, it’s not relevant when he’s going to die.

Speaker 2:

Yes, one can understand. It could be from the other side, the other problem is only that he won’t stumble again. Once he dies, he no longer has the problem either.

Speaker 1:

Again, they mean that he has regret and he actually becomes a better person in a certain sense, and he becomes a good person, he would no longer sin. The will to sin is still a bit of a sin.

Speaker 2:

Yes, but if the doctor tells him that it was a mistake, he is healthy and strong, then he would grab back his sins.

Speaker 1:

I don’t know, that’s a good question, that’s a good question.

Example from Dostoevsky

Speaker 1:

Nothing, there is that which great writer, Dostoevsky, I don’t know what, he already stood before the shooting, and his life changed very strongly. This is a thing, when a person sees the day of death in front of his eyes, it could be that it is actually something a deeper teshuva, and not just “anyway I’m dying, I have regret, what did I have from it?” and one begins to have fear.

Repentance from Fear vs. True Repentance

Speaker 1:

Also the Rambam would say, if one does it from fear, it’s not called excellent repentance. The teshuva on the day of death is not complete repentance. Now he’s not speaking of one who stumbles in one. It says that on the day of death is also not from fear, because if it’s from fear, he fears he will get punished. We’re speaking here that he did teshuva because he made a deep contemplation, and he indeed became a better person.

Discussion: What Happens When He is Saved?

Speaker 2:

What actually happens when a person is in such a situation? Later it happens that he is saved. There are both kinds of people. There are people who remain, and there are people who immediately when he is rolled over becomes, if he remains he remains.

Speaker 1:

No, that’s not a proof, but one doesn’t forget. There are people who remain with their teshuva, and there are people who don’t. There are both.

There are people who were sick, and it changed their life, because they began to have a different perspective, they began to do things differently. There are those who say that dramatic experiences, “near death experiences”, with certain drugs that have such effectiveness, it very strongly changed the perspective, it made that a person should truly realize that one is here temporarily, and one can take and begin better perspectives on the world.

Verse “Until the Sun Sets”

Speaker 2:

What does it say, “all the sins of this one are forgiven”?

Speaker 1:

“All the sins of this one are forgiven”, the forgiveness is for all sins, “as it says”… it’s the continuation of that verse, right? It’s the next verse.

Speaker 2:

Yes. “You return man to dust, You extend Your anger”.

Speaker 1:

The wisdom is that it depends on my choice either way. But in any case, “until the sun sets”, is still before the sun goes down. Meaning, when a person dies, “and the light and the moon and the stars”, until everything becomes dark. When a person dies, the sun is dark for him, at least from his perspective. Perhaps it means his eyes. “And the light and the moon and the stars, and the clouds return after the rain”.

Speaker 2:

Yes, it comes from… “and the clouds return after the rain”, what is that?

Speaker 1:

“That is the day of death”. In general, from here we learn, “a person should see and repent before he dies, lest he say”. So, on this the Sages say, “repent one day before your death”.

Speaker 2:

Yes, because you don’t know when you’re going to die, so, he says, continue.

Halacha 3 – What is Teshuva?

Speaker 1:

Now we’re going to learn, “What is teshuva?” It’s already the third.

Speaker 2:

Very good. What is the third thing?

What is the Essential Teshuva?

Speaker 1:

“What is teshuva?” What is the essential teshuva? Teshuva, he means, now he’s not talking about complete teshuva anymore. Earlier he spoke about there being a mitzvah that when one does teshuva it should be in a manner with vidui (confession). Now he said, how does one know that a person has done teshuva? That which he sinned, he doesn’t do it again. Now he says, what is teshuva?

“It is that the sinner abandons his sin”. It’s not complete teshuva. Complete teshuva is simply, he came to the same situation and he doesn’t do the sin. Now one says, essentially what he’s going to explain here is mainly the plain meaning of vidui, if you want you can write there. What he’s talking about here is, what does vidui mean? What does it mean what I wrote “the inner dimension of vidui”? Because he goes through here the order of vidui and he explains all the things that he said there.

So here he’s explaining more what is teshuva, which is not complete teshuva. What does it mean that he should do teshuva? Perhaps one can interpret that the “do teshuva” refers to the second part, what he says “do teshuva”, and the “and confess” refers to the teshuva. But actually one doesn’t need to go into that situation again.

Three Parts of Teshuva

Speaker 1:

So what is teshuva? “That the sinner abandons his sin”, he leaves it. “And removes it from his thoughts”, he takes it away from his thoughts.

Innovation: “And Removes It From His Thoughts” – Not With His Thoughts, But From His Thoughts

Speaker 1:

Interestingly, he doesn’t take it away with his thoughts, because he’s going to remember it, “he regrets the past”. It means to say that he removes the excitement. That is, he looks at the sin as something positive, as something he wants to do again, and he removes it. Thought is usually, in the holy tongue it already means a plan, something like, “one who devises plans” which he wants…

Speaker 2:

Yes, it means a plan, he thinks…

Speaker 1:

He removes it from his… not even a plan anymore. “And resolves in his heart”, he strengthens in his… in his mind, “that he will not do it again”, it won’t happen to him anymore.

“As it says”, we see a verse, “let the wicked abandon his way”, the wicked should abandon his way, so that’s the “abandon etc. the sin”. “And the man of iniquity his thoughts”, should remove the thought, the plan to sin again.

Innovation: The Order – First “Remove It From His Thoughts” and Then “Regret the Past”

Speaker 1:

But that’s not enough, because that’s only regret about the past. It’s not just that it wasn’t worthwhile. It says “I am ashamed”, but I think it simply means, instead of what happened. It would have been better, it would have been different otherwise. It’s not too complicated.

Speaker 2:

No, it’s the same thing as comfort from sorrow, comfort from sorrow.

Speaker 1:

No, it means that it means to be comforted, I mean such regret about the past.

Speaker 2:

Um, I see. I mean regret about what has passed.

Speaker 1:

There’s no difference. Both mean the same thing. I think it means the past. I think it means the past. Because he brings the verse “after I returned I regretted”. It means like that. Afterwards.

Speaker 2:

Okay… “as it says ‘after I returned’”, after I did teshuva.

Speaker 1:

It’s still after he did the abandonment… “I regretted” – perhaps if this is the interpretation?!

Speaker 2:

No, I think it’s a good interpretation – let me explain first. Because the verse? Ah… “Return me and I will return, after I returned I regretted”… I don’t know. What is the interpretation of this passage. Well…

Speaker 1:

Okay “after I returned I regretted”, after I did teshuva “I regretted” I have regret about the past. “After I was made aware” of the sin and transgression, “I struck my thigh”, he clapped his hand from pain, but the sin he did.

Discussion: What Does “After I Returned” Mean?

Speaker 2:

What does that teshuva mean? After teshuva? Perhaps it means after he received rebuke?

Speaker 1:

But I’m already doing teshuva, teshuva means that.

Speaker 2:

No, teshuva means abandoning, that he throws away the…

Explanation: Why First “Remove It From His Thoughts” and Then “Regret the Past”

Speaker 1:

I’ll tell you a simple good interpretation. As long as he still looks at the sin as a good thing, as something that when he thinks about it gives him good feelings, “wow, I can do it again, it’s going to be so much fun”, then the thinking itself is something bad. So he must first look at the sin differently, and remove it from his thoughts, so that when he thinks about the sin he should think of it as something I don’t want to do anymore, it’s a bad thing. And only afterwards can he begin to have regret about the past. Because as long as he still looks at the sin as a good thing, he has good feelings when he thinks back, then that’s the same thing.

I saw a simple thing, when a person thinks that he had an experience, he transgressed, as you said earlier, he transgressed with a married woman, wow, and every time he thinks about it he’s seized with desire for how good it was, then the thinking itself about this is a transgression. So only after he has already removed it from his thoughts, I have no more plans, I’m not going to do it anymore, it’s certainly only from the past.

Precision in “The Past”

Speaker 1:

About this the Rambam perhaps emphasized the word “the past”. Now it’s only a thing of the past, it’s no longer something that exists in the present, it’s not a thing anymore that’s still in his plans going forward. As long as a person is still stuck in sin, it’s past, present, and also future. Every time he thinks, he thinks how good it was and how good it’s going to be again. Now he thinks that it’s something from “the past”, because he has already removed it from his thoughts about the future.

Discussion: Is This All One Thing?

Speaker 2:

I think that all these things aren’t really so separate. Because the point is, I no longer hold that it’s a good thing. I thought it was a good thing, I sinned. Now I hold that it’s not a good thing. That already includes regret, that includes everything. You’re dividing one thing into many levels, but in truth it’s all the same thing.

Speaker 1:

It’s not like that. Because I’ll tell you, for example a person who every Yom Kippur does teshuva for something, and every year after Yom Kippur he does it again. So what he does on Yom Kippur isn’t serious, because there is indeed some “removal and regret”, but the “removal and regret” isn’t about the past. The “removal and regret” is about something that’s still there in him. We talk too much about those cases, it’s not really what usually happens. With us there’s more… we don’t talk, but no, we’re talking about someone who’s more simple. Let’s imagine that we’re talking about a more simple case. I thought it was good, it’s not good. Good day, I’m moving on, it’s not.

“And Testify About Him to the Knower of Secrets” – The Meaning of Vidui

Speaker 1:

Okay, but he says further, “and testify” – that means, and he should make testimony about himself.

Ah, so earlier we spoke about someone who will again be in a similar situation and not stumble. Here we’re talking about a person where there’s no proof that he’ll be tested again, because here we’re talking about teshuva. But what yes, the Knower of Secrets, the Almighty, or if someone could be in his head, he would testify that the teshuva is so genuine that he truly doesn’t want to return.

So I’m telling you the interpretation, the interpretation of the Lechem Mishneh, the true interpretation.

Speaker 2:

Yes, here it doesn’t mean that the Almighty will testify, it means he should make the Almighty a testimony for himself.

Speaker 1:

He will tell Him before the Almighty, this is the explanation of the entire halacha, it’s essentially an explanation of what vidui means. Vidui is before the Almighty, because I mean to say, I mean to say before the Almighty, I mean to say, the Almighty knows that I don’t want to anymore.

So I’m not going to be able to prove it, it’s not like the beginning of the chapter, we’re talking about a situation where he can prove it, because we’re talking about… when he’s old or when he’s… but the teshuva is so true, let’s not return to me. The teshuva is so strongly true that if there were such a situation I wouldn’t stumble. The teshuva is so strongly true, he says this before the Almighty. He takes the Almighty as testimony about this.

Speaker 2:

You’re saying it’s so strongly true, so it fits very well.

Speaker 1:

So it’s again the same teaching as before, except this time he doesn’t actually have the reality to prove it, but he says it’s as genuine as then.

This is the Meaning of Vidui

Speaker 1:

So this is the meaning of vidui, which we learned in the previous chapter, what is vidui? This is before the Almighty. What does that mean to say, I take the Almighty as testimony about this. I tell Him, the Almighty is testimony that I don’t want to anymore. No one knows that I don’t want to, only the Almighty knows. Knower of Secrets means secrets of the heart, not secrets that He knows the future. A person says I don’t want to anymore, that’s an internal matter.

The entire vidui that’s written here, I once argued with you, the ways, the language that the Rambam uses for Hilchot Deot, about character traits, character traits means an internal feeling, an internal will of what I want. So here I want to express myself to the Almighty.

Halacha 3 (Continued): Vidui With His Lips and Resolution in His Heart

Speaker 1:

So, but this is the meaning of vidui, because he took in the previous paragraph, what must vidui be before the Almighty? Because it means to say, I take the Almighty as testimony for this. I tell Him, the Almighty is witness that I don’t want to anymore. No one knows that you don’t want to, only the Almighty knows.

Knower of Secrets means secrets of the heart, not secrets that He knows the future. A person says, I don’t want to anymore, it’s an internal matter. The entire vidui that’s written here, I once thought, his ways is a language that the Rambam brings regarding Hilchot Deot, regarding character traits. Character traits means an internal feeling, an internal will of what I want. So here you want to express yourself to the will. Who knows what you want? No one knows. A person can see if you make a case, but the Almighty can see what you want. That’s the Knower of Secrets.

“Knower of Secrets that he will not return to this sin ever.” His teshuva, his abandonment, and his regret about the past should be so strong that he doesn’t want to. As you say, so strong that if someone could see secrets, he would see that it’s as genuine as when a person does teshuva and he has an opportunity afterwards and he doesn’t do it.

“As it says, ‘and we will no longer say our god to the work of our hands’.” How does it fit? As it says, I didn’t understand? A person says, I will no longer… serving idolatry is like accepting the work of one’s hands as god. A person creates a little idol and he says “my god”, and I’m going to do teshuva so strongly that I won’t say it anymore.

This is what the verse says “Return Israel”, this is the haftarah of Shabbat Shuva. “Take with you words”, he says, vidui words. Yes, “and return to Hashem”. Very good. The verse explains, what should he say? “Assyria will not save us”. What is that? They’re saying as part of their vidui. You see here is the source that vidui is fixed for the future, which the Rambam said. Here they say, what do they say? We will no longer make our… they’re saying they will no longer accept as god the work of their hands.

Vidui With His Lips and Resolution in His Heart

The Rambam, “and one must confess with his lips”. Very good. “And say these matters.” I think my Hasidic interpretation, many times here when the sin becomes so strong, that it becomes like his… it becomes dominant over him, he’s addicted to the sin. Okay, I’m leaving, I’m leaving. I should no longer make the sin dominant over me, the Almighty is dominant over me. When a person stumbles again and again, the sin is dominant over you, you can’t get away from it.

So the Rambam says, I think one must read the two halachot together. One must say it with the mouth, say what he said, resolution in his heart. Why? I don’t know why, it helps. There’s some virtue in saying it out with the mouth.

But, “anyone who confesses in words, one who confesses only with words, but has not resolved in his heart to abandon, he hasn’t truly resolved in his heart to abandon the sin, behold this is like one who immerses while holding a dead reptile.” He’s like one who immerses, a mikveh does help, but he’s still holding his sin in his hand. He says the right words, the words are perhaps a mikveh, a mikveh purifies, but he hasn’t resolved in his heart, he’s still holding in his hand the thing which is the sin.

It’s very interesting, the sinner, when one immerses with a reptile in his hand, seemingly the moment he immerses he’s pure, but the moment he comes out he’s still holding the reptile, so he becomes impure again. It seems that here he says… okay, that’s a different topic. But no, I understand what he means, the purity doesn’t become pure in the mikveh, but the person does become pure, but he becomes impure again the same second. It could be the same thing, he says, he says, “I’m no longer doing the sin,” something of a certain will is created, but you’re not holding to it, so it’s like you’re immersing. But you are immersing, he says that he’s immersing, he doesn’t say that he’s saying nothing. Saying is worth something, I don’t hold that one shouldn’t say God forbid, but a reptile in his hand doesn’t help.

Digression: Immersing While Holding a Reptile – Going to the Mikveh Without Paying

I remember, with my Rosh Yeshiva R’ Avraham’le, we spoke in a beit midrash, and it says there, “whoever goes to the mikveh without paying is immersing while holding a reptile.” What kind of thing is that? It’s a reptile! You can say that a person who goes without paying is a thief, is a reptile. But why is he immersing while holding a reptile? The immersion helps in matters of beliefs. It’s more than a mitzvah that comes through a transgression.

“One Who Confesses and Abandons Will Find Mercy”

The Rambam says further, “and so it says, so it’s actually written in the verse, ‘one who confesses and abandons will find mercy’.” So confession is the vidui, but it must be together with the “and abandons”. Only afterwards will he find mercy. If he confesses but doesn’t abandon, it’s not applicable. It’s explicitly stated in the verse “‘one who covers his transgressions will not succeed’.” He doesn’t say vidui, he keeps it, he won’t succeed. But “‘one who confesses and abandons will find mercy’.”

Perhaps the confession causes the abandonment. Just as you literally said at the beginning when we learned, that a person who doesn’t confess that he sinned, doesn’t stop sinning further. So, apparently from this verse from Proverbs it speaks about this, that a person shouldn’t convince himself that he’s righteous.

I think the Rambam means the entire verse. I’ll translate it nicely for you. Because “covers his transgressions” can mean, as you said, that he covers, he conceals it. He doesn’t hold it strongly in his hands, he only holds it in his… he doesn’t confess. But in another sense it can mean “covers his transgressions” that he says vidui, but he still holds onto it. He covers with the vidui. Like “hangs himself on vidui”. He holds it with the vidui, he makes himself a righteous person too, that he even says vidui.

One Must Detail the Sin

The Rambam says, “and one must detail the sin”, to enumerate the sin, “as it says ‘please, this people has sinned a great sin’”, and afterwards he enumerates what sin it was, “and they did such and such”.

English Translation

“One must specify the sin” is another law, or perhaps it’s a law in… that when a person hasn’t truly abandoned [the sin] yet, then he will say something more general, because he’s still stuck with some sin. This is a law in viduy (confession). The Rambam has a dispute in the Gemara, Rabbi Akiva held, but Rabbi Yehuda ben Bava said that one must bring a verse. Moshe Rabbeinu didn’t want to give in to the Jews, he said “I can’t tell you any matters.” I think it has to do with “mechaseh peshav lo yatzliach” (one who covers his transgressions will not succeed). Those who conceal, as you say, he sinned, what exactly did he sin? Ah.

Law 4: From the Ways of Teshuva

The Rambam says further… okay, so until now we’ve learned the fundamentals of teshuva. Right. We’ve learned what teshuva is, the mitzvah of teshuva, what is complete teshuva, what is teshuva. Now we’re going to learn “midarkhei hateshuva” (from the ways of teshuva), other things that help teshuva, and other matters of teshuva.

“From the ways of teshuva,” says the Rambam, “is that the penitent should cry out constantly before Hashem with weeping and supplication.” That the person doing teshuva should cry out to the Almighty, requests, prayers, with weeping and supplication. I think this means crying that the Almighty should help him do teshuva, no? That the Almighty should forgive him. He prays that the Almighty should forgive him.

Tzedaka According to His Ability

What about tzedaka according to his ability? What about tzedaka? Teshuva, tefilla, tzedaka, we see this in the Tanna D’vei Eliyahu.

Speaker 2:

Yes, but tzedaka… tzedaka, even for example if his sin was… tzedaka means he didn’t give tzedaka?

Speaker 1:

I think that tzedaka is some kind of way, perhaps tzedaka causes teshuva? I don’t know. It helps that the Almighty should forgive the sin, and perhaps it helps to atone for the punishments that were supposed to come. Yes?

Speaker 2:

I would say this: when the sin is in matters between man and his fellow, I can hear that, let’s say, he stole, now he gives a lot of tzedaka. But when the sin was between man and God, does one still need tzedaka?

Speaker 1:

Okay, it could be as you say, that these are still matters of more teshuva, higher levels of teshuva. It says “three things tear up a person’s decree: tzedaka, crying out, and teshuva,” this is one of the sources in this piece of Rambam.

And Distance Himself Far from the Thing He Sinned With

But what is “distance himself far from the thing he sinned with”? He goes away. Not as you say there, for example, with siyata dishmaya (divine assistance), on the contrary, he should strengthen himself more in that point.

And Change His Name

“And change his name, meaning I am different,” he should make by himself… “his name” means his status, it doesn’t mean his last name. Yes, “his name,” one can speak of him as the last one who comes into shul speaking lashon hara (evil speech). He should change his persona. Yes, it could be he should actually change his name, but the point, the Rambam explains, what will it help? “I am different and I am not that person who did those deeds,” I am now something new.

Very good, this is what is done when someone is sick, and one changes his name. Perhaps literally he also means that. Aha, “I am not that so-and-so,” okay.

And Change All His Deeds for Good and the Straight Path

“And change all his deeds for good and the straight path.” He changes all his deeds, not just… he changes the way like this. He takes his deeds, it’s an interesting thing. Because somehow your character also brought about the sins. No, it’s not the sin itself. Aha, “all his deeds for good,” he conducts himself more refined, it has an influence on you. Very good, very good. “For good and the straight path.”

Regarding the three things it says “four things change,” change place, change deed, change deed is teshuva itself. That’s it. No, it could also be “for good and the straight path” means that he should work more on balanced character traits, on the middle path. The Almighty punished him for stealing, he understands that he has a desire for money, he should also be careful not to be extreme with money.

I noticed when the Rambam also says tzedaka, what is tzedaka? Says the Rambam, he adds in brackets, “lest you say that teshuva reaches until he gives all his money to the poor.” And it could also be that one throws in, this too is a dispute in the Baal HaTanya. The Baal HaTanya says that one is led to give more than a fifth. What is known that the custom to give more than a fifth in tzedaka? Is a teshuva. And the Alter Rebbe says that the Torah says this is a teshuva, and teshuva is pikuach nefesh (saving a life), and for pikuach nefesh one may. But here we’re talking about not so much tzedaka, also according to his ability. Yes?

The “according to his ability” means the most he can, but yes.

Digression: Changing a Name for a Sick Person

When one changes the name of a person who is sick, it could be it actually helps a bit, he becomes a bit different. I’m not Yaakov, I’m Yaakov Meir. Like the “do not stray after your hearts,” or from last night. No, I’m not talking about belief. The person thinks it’s a segula (spiritual remedy), the Angel of Death doesn’t know the address, he’ll get confused. I say it can help through the path of teshuva, as it is here. There’s a person who celebrated until the day of death, and now he’s called differently. It will always remind him that, ah, remember when you were sick you did teshuva. But he’ll forget. But he has a different name, he won’t forget it, he’ll a bit… I hear, I hear.

And Exile from His Place

And exile from his place. But I’m not sure that what he says about tzedaka here means according to his ability, one could mean on the contrary, the most he can. It doesn’t have to mean only the minimum. Perhaps, okay, I have a bit more than the minimum, but not endlessly, not more than his ability.

He says further, “and exile from his place,” he should go away from his place. It’s interesting, because simply one could have learned it as we learned earlier, that a person is drawn after his place. He sinned, presumably he had bad neighbors from whom he learned. But here the Rambam says something different: “for exile atones for sin, because it causes him to be submissive and to be humble and lowly of spirit.” In exile no person is in his position, his status. He begins to feel more like a person, because he closed the door. You see that the Rambam interprets here the two things that one might think are like a segula, change his name and place, and the Rambam explains how this can actually help him do teshuva.

Okay.

Law 4 (Continued): Confession in Public

The Rambam says further, “and it is a great praise for the penitent that he confess publicly and make known his transgressions to them.” We learned earlier that he should confess before the Almighty, “and say before Hashem.” He speaks to the Almighty. But here there is a matter that he should speak to the people, he should confess before the Almighty publicly, or perhaps even he should confess before the people. I want to tell you what I did.

Look what it says: “and one who speaks to them and reveals sins between him and his fellow to others.” Ah, specifically sins between him and his fellow to others, this wronged other people. “And says to them: Indeed I sinned against so-and-so and did such and such to him, and behold today I repent and regret.” I speak about what I did.

I think this also helps for the other person, because often the other person feels wronged, and the other person holds that I wronged him for…

Law 7: Public Confession – Sins Between Man and His Fellow

Speaker 1:

But there’s also a matter that he should speak to the people. He should confess perhaps before the Almighty publicly, but perhaps even he should confess before the people. He should say before the people, “I want to tell you what I did.”

Look what it says: “and reveals sins between him and his fellow to others.” Ah, specifically sins between him and his fellow to others. This wronged other people. “And says to them, indeed I sinned against so-and-so and did such and such to him, and behold today I repent and regret.” I regret what I did.

I think this also helps for the other person, because often the other person feels wronged, the other person was embarrassed, and he says, “I was wrong.”

But also for you, this is part of changing his name and deeds. Until now you were known as the one who attacks everyone. “In all the proud I and he cannot dwell,” one who holds himself in pride, and he can’t be with you.

“But one who covers his transgressions has no complete teshuva, as it says, ‘one who covers his transgressions will not succeed.’” This is the beginning of the verses we saw earlier. He won’t succeed in doing teshuva, he’ll fall back into sin.

Law 8: Private Confession – Sins Between Man and God

Speaker 1:

But I also think, because there are many times the person who shames another publicly, and afterwards is very ashamed, he says, “I have no way.”

He says: “When does this apply? To sins between him and his fellow. But sins between him and God, he need not publicize himself.” There where he sinned between him and God, only the Almighty, he sinned against the Almighty, he need not publicize himself, “and it is brazenness for him if he reveals them.” It’s brazenness if he reveals this.

Discussion: Why Shouldn’t One Reveal Sins Between Man and God?

Speaker 2:

Why shouldn’t one reveal when one has sinned? When someone says viduy, he wants to speak out the filth from himself, the sin.

Speaker 1:

Yes, because the relationship between a person and the Almighty must be an intimate thing. It must be something that one takes so seriously, just as a person doesn’t want to tell just anyone his most intimate things. Yes?

Okay. “Rather he repents before God, blessed be He, and confesses before Him, and details his sins before Him, and confesses them before the public in general.” He says, “Yes, I sinned,” but he doesn’t say what he did. “And it is good for him that his sin not be revealed.” It’s good for a person that his sin not be revealed.

And it says “happy is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered,” which is for the person who is concealed or forgotten. “Forgiven” means, I think, that it’s not good that one knows that a person sinned, because there’s a kind of thing with desecration of God’s name, because when one does a sin publicly there’s a matter of desecration of God’s name.

Speaker 2:

No, I think that, this is how I used to think, that it means a person goes around saying “I sinned,” two people are right. No, one can sin. One can sin, there’s an option.

Speaker 1:

No, it’s better that one be ashamed of it. Very good.

Law 9: The Ten Days of Repentance

Speaker 1:

Now the Rambam will speak about the special time of teshuva, which is a novelty of the Rambam. I’ve now learned that there’s a matter of crying out and all these things, which isn’t teshuva itself, it’s for teshuva, and there are things that help do teshuva, it’s advice for teshuva. Says the Rambam, one of the pieces of advice is the order of the act of teshuva basically. Yes?

It could be that it’s connected with what he just said, that there are certain ways how it’s forbidden to speak about one’s sins. He now says another thing, that it’s also a good thing that one should set aside a certain time for teshuva. Perhaps, I don’t know, just as he says that matters between him and God one should only speak to the Almighty and such, it’s not good that one speaks publicly. Perhaps this is a continuation, that for this reason there’s also that a time was made for teshuva. By the way, one should only be busy with positive things, with mitzvot. I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it. I think it could be, I would have thought that he’s already saying, one shouldn’t add. He says that one of the pieces of advice, the ways of teshuva, is that the Ten Days of Repentance were made. And it also helps that there’s a public with him.

The Rambam says that “although teshuva and crying out are always good,” crying out to the Almighty, always good is an eternal thing, always a good thing, teshuva, the eve of Rosh Chodesh Nissan, and the Rambam speaks. No, before he says all these times, the eve of Yom Kippur, and so on. “Always good” means in our times. It means always crying out to the Almighty is good. So he gave himself advice, as the Rambam says, as if we have all these things today, when a Jew does teshuva, it’s some segula, some yahrzeit, and some prayer for this. But he wants to say, remember that the Ten Days of Repentance are still more important than Rabbi Shimon’s yahrzeit. The Ten Days of Repentance are “between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, and even better.” The ten days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, the Ten Days of Repentance, are the best time for teshuva, and one is immediately accepted, and immediately his teshuva is accepted.

This fits very well, because earlier he said that one must follow through until Yom Kippur. So you don’t remain hanging too long, you don’t hang long, you come right down from the suspension, because Yom Kippur comes immediately and you finish the teshuva.

“As it says ‘Seek Hashem when He is found,’” you should seek the Almighty, seek the Almighty when He is found among the people. “‘Call upon Him when He is near,’” but this needs Chazal. When is He “when He is near”? “Chazal said,” when is this? This is in the Ten Days of Repentance, when the Almighty is among… Yes.

Discussion: What Does “When He is Near” Mean?

Speaker 2:

How does one interpret “when He is near” when the Almighty is among the people? I mean, when is He not? I mean, He’s always near, especially during the Ten Days of Repentance He’s more near.

Speaker 1:

The reason is because the people do teshuva. He’s near because the people do teshuva, He’s near to those who love Him, to those who love Him. Right, because the people have already taken to the mitzvah, they’ve already gone to the mikveh, they’ve already prayed.

Speaker 2:

But this isn’t necessarily one who sends away the Almighty. I mean like this.

Speaker 1:

The Rama says specifically, this is the Ten Days of Repentance are even better. But in public, this fits very well with what you just said, that the Ten Days of Repentance already has a public. But when the people make teshuva, “and whenever they do teshuva crying out with a whole heart, they are answered, as it says ‘For what great nation has a God so near to it as Hashem our God whenever we call to Him.’” The Almighty is eternal, when one calls Him He’s eternal. If one takes together the people, “we call to Him,” that when one takes together the people and makes a day of prayer, a day of teshuva, then it’s as good as the Ten Days of Repentance. There’s no difference.

Speaker 2:

Ah, it says “whenever we call to Him.” When is “we call to Him”? Publicly. Publicly one can make this “we call to Him” any time. An individual is harder, because the education of a person alone, to break through the environment all around.

Speaker 1:

What doesn’t fit? That the Rambam spoke about the Ten Days of Repentance. Now he says, the peak, the best teshuva is Yom Kippur.

Law 10: Yom Kippur

Speaker 1:

“And on Yom Kippur it is a time of teshuva for all, for the individual and for the public, and it is the end of forgiveness and pardon for Israel.” This is the end of the forgiveness and pardon for Israel.

I think so because they learned earlier that teshuva begins the process of being exempted from the sin, and Yom Kippur finishes it. I once interpreted, “end” is a deadline. One must always, when will I go do teshuva? Tomorrow, tomorrow teshuva, one day I’ll do teshuva. The Sefer HaChinuch says that a person accumulates and accumulates, and then he can’t, he becomes a dictator, he becomes, the burden lies on him. This is the day that becomes a deadline. This is the end. The end of forgiveness and pardon, this is the end.

Speaker 2:

Okay, these are two good interpretations. The end of forgiveness and pardon, this is the language of the Gemara in Yoma. This is in the piyutim (liturgical poems), yes.

Speaker 1:

But I say, we have a good interpretation, because this is the main thing, that it’s suspended until Yom Kippur, so this is the end.

“Therefore all are obligated to do teshuva and confess on Yom Kippur.” Everyone is obligated to do teshuva and confess on Yom Kippur. Ah, perhaps to do teshuva through confessing. So then will be answered what we struggled with earlier. The language means whoever says viduy, because viduy means that he wants to do teshuva, but it doesn’t mean that he makes a complete teshuva etc.

Discussion: Why “All Are Obligated”?

Speaker 2:

And again, how does he learn “therefore all are obligated”? Why are all obligated? If he did other exemptions?

Speaker 1:

Ah, viduy is different. Viduy is different. Everything depends on teshuva. In the time of teshuva one says viduy, because viduy is what makes teshuva, you’re accepting to return. Something like that.

It’s important, I think, grab it, this is the… how does one say? Now there’s a sale on pants, grab it, everyone should buy pants. He says, the end of forgiveness and pardon means it’s the last day of the Ten Days of Repentance. He said that the Ten Days of Repentance are important. He says, this is the end of the Ten Days of Repentance.

Speaker 2:

Why specifically about this? I mean… okay.

Law 11: The Order of Viduy on Yom Kippur

Speaker 1:

Therefore all are obligated… yes, we spoke. Because everyone must do teshuva and say viduy on Yom Kippur.

“The mitzvah of vidui (confession) on Yom Kippur, that one should say it on the eve of the day before eating.” The mitzvah is that on erev Yom (the eve of the day), when Yom Kippur comes in, at the end of the day of erev Yom Kippur, still before eating. Why before eating? “Lest he choke at the meal before he confesses.” Perhaps he will be choked at the meal before he confesses, and he hasn’t done teshuva (repentance).

It’s a beautiful… it’s actually an interesting thing, because he won’t have Yom Kippur, but he will have a yom hamita (day of death), the person who will, God forbid, be choked. But the Rabbis wanted teshuva beforehand. Therefore one says vidui at mincha. If he doesn’t eat, perhaps he might choke. Choke doesn’t mean he will die, it could be that he will become sick, he will be in danger. I don’t know what could even happen. I can think, because one eats that meal when one is crying and one is in teshuva, not a meal that one eats with liveliness. One can choke.

He says further, “And even though he confessed before eating, he repeats and confesses on the night of Yom Kippur at maariv.” At night one does vidui again. Why? Because now it’s truly Yom Kippur, whereas before it was only a preparation for Yom Kippur, now it’s Yom Kippur itself. “And he repeats and confesses at shacharit and at musaf and at mincha and at neilah.”

Discussion: Why Do We Repeat Vidui So Many Times?

Speaker 2:

What’s the explanation? I mean it’s because perhaps he sinned in between.

Speaker 1:

But you said before tzaaka (crying out). I see that it has something to do with tzaaka. Every tefilla (prayer) is also tzaaka. You said tzaaka with teshuva work very well together. So every time there is a tzaaka, a tefilla, one also does vidui?

Speaker 2:

Why does it say one does it again? Yes, but why? Why should one confess so many times? We’re disturbed by Yom Kippur, one says the entire vidui, I’ve already heard it. Nu, what do you want? Why are you pursuing? There must be a huge reason for this. I think perhaps he sinned in between. I don’t know clearly.

Speaker 1:

I think one needs to understand why tzaaka helps for teshuva. If tzaaka helps for teshuva… No, you don’t mean tzaaka, you mean vidui. I’m telling you again, again, again. Every time one does tzaaka again, one does teshuva again, one does vidui again. Exactly why, one needs to understand. But I’m saying, it has something to do with the fact that tzaaka helps for teshuva.

Speaker 2:

Ah, very good. If teshuva gemura (complete repentance), teshuva gemura one only needs to say vidui once. But on Yom Kippur one does, one says vidui so many times, kuli hai v’ulai (all this and perhaps) that a person should grasp that he won’t sin anymore.

It could also be that tzaaka isn’t – every tefilla isn’t a tzaaka. Tzaaka is basically a tefilla that has gone, there is in it a tzaaka. Tzaaka means when a person cries out. Every time you daven, what you do, you try. Perhaps one of them will be a tzaaka, which is then besides a vidui also. That is more than tzaaka.

Speaker 1:

You mean to say because it says teshuva and tzaaka?

Speaker 2:

Okay, I want to say, I want to stay with my explanation. That on Yom Kippur one doesn’t, one says on Yom Kippur the viduis so many times, perhaps kuli hai v’ulai it should help. The Gemara says, “Perhaps something of sin will happen to him in the meantime.” It happens that on Yom Kippur itself he should have sinned. It’s like the Rebbe Reb Elimelech’s story. Yes. I don’t know. It’s not clear. Okay. Further. If someone knows for certain that he didn’t sin on Yom Kippur, perhaps he doesn’t need vidui so many times.

Speaker 1:

I don’t know.

Alright, let’s go further.

The Place of Vidui in Prayer

Speaker 1:

My son says like this, says the Rema, “An individual after his prayer”, every individual at the end of the Shemoneh Esrei there is a vidui, “and the shaliach tzibur (prayer leader) in the middle of his prayer in the fourth blessing.” Because we conduct ourselves that the shaliach tzibur says it after davening. No, no. Ah, yes, somewhere in the middle of davening. Every Kippur, every… I say also in the middle of the Shemoneh Esrei.

Law 11 (Continued): The Text of Vidui and Its Place in Prayer

Yes, I don’t know. Not clear. Okay.

If someone knows for certain that he didn’t sin on Yom Kippur, perhaps he doesn’t need to say vidui so many times. I don’t know. Alright, let’s go further.

The Place of Vidui in Prayer — Individual and Shaliach Tzibur

Further with the questions. The Rambam says, “An individual after his prayer”. The individual, at the end of the Shemoneh Esrei, there is a vidui. “And the shaliach tzibur in the middle of his prayer in the fourth blessing”. Interesting. By us we conduct ourselves that the shaliach tzibur says it after davening. Ah, yes, somewhere in the middle of davening, Yom Kippur, yes. In the middle of the Shemoneh Esrei.

The Essential Text of Vidui — “Aval Chatanu”

The Rambam says like this: “And the vidui that all of Israel are accustomed to is ‘Aval chatanu’ etc., and this is the essence of vidui”. The Rambam says, the essential text has become to say “Aval” (but). The truth is, one thing is, I’m not like the one who says “I have not sinned,” rather “But we and our fathers have sinned.” And this is enough, “and this is the essence of vidui.”

You see clearly, and the law states earlier that one must say when he reviews the entire text. That speaks of the idea of teshuva. On Yom Kippur, one says chatati (I have sinned), this is the essential vidui, and one fulfills the obligation. It says in the Gemara, meaning if you extend it, you say “Al chet” etc., but this is no longer indispensable.

Repeating Vidui for Past Sins

The Rambam says further, “Sins that he confessed for on this Yom Kippur, even though he stands in his repentance” — these sins he confessed for one year on Yom Kippur, what happens next year? This year he didn’t sin with these sins. He says, one says it again, “he repeats and confesses for them on another Yom Kippur”. This is the reason why one says so many “Al chets,” because even sins that one only committed once, one says it every time. Even if someone truly did teshuva, “as it says ‘For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.’” A person should always remember, my transgressions I know, and my sins are always in front of me.

Law 12: Teshuva Between Man and His Fellow

Okay, now we’re going to learn about teshuva between man and his fellow. A very important part of teshuva.

The Distinction Between Sins Between Man and God and Between Man and His Fellow

The Rambam says, “Neither teshuva nor Yom Kippur atone except for sins between man and God, such as one who ate something forbidden or had forbidden relations and the like, these are sins between man and God. But sins between man and his fellow, one who injures his fellow, or curses his fellow, or one who stole from him even a perutah’s worth, are never forgiven until he gives his fellow what he owes him”. One who injures must give him damages, pain, medical costs, loss of time, and embarrassment, and appease him and ask from him. This is an extra thing, yes? The Rambam says even if he returned to him what he owes him, he must appease him and ask from him that he forgive him.

Innovation — Forgiving Means Befriending Again

See what a great innovation here, that a person has the power to forgive. He paid him, but the person has something… he’s still angry. It could be that someone hit someone, he paid him his debts. Yes, but who says I have such a thing as mechila (forgiveness) that he should be my friend? I gave it back to him. Yes, yes, one must befriend him again. This is the innovation, forgiving means one must befriend him again, he shouldn’t be an enemy.

Law 13: Appeasement Even With Words

The Rambam says, even if his fellow didn’t sin against him except with words, even if he only pained him with words, he must appease him, he must appease him, and approach him, and approach, until he forgives him. Approach, that sounds flat. He should beg him, he should beg him, he should beg him, again and again until he forgives him.

Law 14: The Process of Appeasement

Bringing Rows of People

And if his fellow is not appeased to forgive him, he brings to him a row of three people from his friends, and they approach him and ask from him. This doesn’t mean one should make a ritual. The Rambam says just like when a person wants someone to lend him money, he meets acquaintances and he negotiates, he makes sure to become his friend again. He should use his political connections. He shouldn’t go to the police for this matter, but what is the standard? He calls him, he brings his friends to call. They tell him that he really didn’t mean it, they tell him that he’s his friend.

If they don’t appease him, he brings him a second and third. He brings him even greater people. If he doesn’t want, he leaves him and goes, and the one who didn’t forgive is the sinner. Then you’ve done your part, and the one who doesn’t forgive, that’s already his problem, he is the sinner. And he must beg him.

By a Rabbi — A Thousand Times

A person has a limit how much he must beg someone. But if it was his rabbi, if it’s his rabbi, his teacher, here we mean simply one from whom he learned Torah, no? He goes and comes even a thousand times until he forgives him. He must forgive him more and more. But the rabbi is always right. It could be, just to be clear, one answers that it doesn’t mean, it means why is the one who shouldn’t forgive him?

Why the One Who Doesn’t Forgive Is a Sinner

Because the other one humbled himself to you, it’s not simple that he begs “forgive me.”

“Forgive me” doesn’t mean anything.

It means that he appeases, he explains that he didn’t mean it, he’ll go further, he’ll be better, etc.

And so the other one holds back, he insulted you, so why are you being stubborn?

That’s the point, yes?

It’s not simply that there’s an obligation to forgive, it’s after forgiving.

Law 15: The Obligation to Be Easy to Appease

Yes, this the Rambam says, this the Rambam says that one must forgive.

It Is Forbidden to Be Cruel

“It is forbidden for a person”, yes, says the Rambam, “it is forbidden for a person to be cruel and not be appeased.”

A person may not be cruel and vengeful and bear a grudge, hold the hatred, “and not be appeased.”

“Rather he should be easy to appease”, he should be easy to appease, to let himself be begged, “and hard to anger”, and hard to anger.

The Rambam says, “And when the sinner asks him to forgive”, when the person who sinned against him asks him to forgive him, “he should forgive with a whole heart and a willing soul”, he should forgive with a whole heart and with a soul that is willing, he should be willing, he should…

Yes.

“And even if he troubled him and did much to him”, even if the person pained him greatly and did much against him, “he should not take revenge or bear a grudge”, he should not be vengeful and he should not bear… hold the hatred in his heart.

The Way of the Seed of Israel — Forgiveness Is a Jewish Trait

The Rambam says, “And this is the way of the seed of Israel”, this is the way that Jewish children, yes, it’s one of the signs of Jews, yes, these are the signs of the seed of Israel, “and their upright heart”, this is the way that Jewish hearts are.

“But the nations”, but not so the non-Jews, “uncircumcised of heart”, the gentiles are uncircumcised of heart, as it says in halacha that when someone says “I am forbidden to benefit from the uncircumcised,” he is permitted with uncircumcised Jews and forbidden with gentiles, because the gentiles are the true uncircumcised, uncircumcised of heart, they are blocked.

“Rather ‘their wrath they keep forever’”, their wrath, their fierce anger, their vengeance, their anger is forever.

Proof from the Gibeonites

And regarding the Gibeonites who pretended they were Jews, what was the sign to know they weren’t Jews?

Because one saw that they don’t have Jewish traits.

And they don’t forgive, “because they didn’t forgive and weren’t appeased.” But seeing that the Gibeonites were learning among the children of Israel. Do you remember the story that was with the Gibeonites with Saul’s children? They said that one should hang the children of Saul, because Saul killed the Gibeonites. And they said that the revenge should be to hang his children. And the children of Israel begged them with mercy, and they actually did so. But the Gemara says, on this stands the verse “and the Gibeonites were not of the children of Israel.” The Gemara understands in the Gemara that a Jew wouldn’t have done so. Even if one killed an entire group, he would have forgiven. It’s not a Jewish trait.

Note — Against a Mistaken Reasoning

I once heard an argument. There are people who say that gentile morality says one should forgive for hatred, and Jewish morality says one should take revenge. Here it says exactly the opposite. The Gibeonites, Jewish morality… Gibeonite is “they knew no mercy.” Jewish morality, Jewish ethics, is to forgive.

Law 16: When the Injured Party Has Died

Vidui at the Grave

What does the living heir do? “He brings ten people and stands them at his grave”. One brings a minyan. Because earlier it also came out to ten people, because earlier one had to bring three times three people, and together with the injured party is ten. Here you have a concept of a minyan. But here, the first one is dead, one needs ten people. And “stands them at his grave”, one brings him to the grave, “and says before them”, one says “I have sinned to Hashem, God of Israel, and to so-and-so whom I did such and such to him”. It’s very interesting, because in place, it’s a concept of teshuva. I think it’s more from the public side. Everyone knows he killed him. So it’s until one appeases the regret of that person’s honor. Yes, your honor, the other… Yes.

Returning Money to the Heirs

The money of his fellow, his monetary value, doesn’t help. It’s not enough that he should return the honor. To his heirs, he must return the money to the heirs. And if he had no heir, if he has no heir, or he didn’t know who his heir is, or he doesn’t know who the heir is, he leaves it with the beit din (rabbinical court), he should leave the money with the beit din. Like the law when someone robbed someone. If one robbed from the public, one must do it for public needs. One doesn’t need to know who all the public are.

Discussion — Why Beit Din?

And I hear that if you will put it in beit din, it’s certain that the beit din won’t know who is the heir, and if not, they will be left with the money, then the beit din can probably bring it to me. I have a beit din. How certain. Therefore it’s good when someone has advertised that he’s going, openly, that he’s going to take the money from whom you robbed, so everyone can run to give themselves. Yes. The point is very good.

But so it says in the Gemara, that if someone robbed someone and there truly are no heirs, he gives it to the beit din, and so he fulfills his obligation. It’s very interesting, because here, here, it’s interesting, because where does this come in? That in such a case, it’s enough that you confess before the Almighty. That as it were, the whole thing of appeasing the other is as long as that person lives. But that person has died. But you see it’s not so. You see there’s a concept of between man and his fellow also. As it were, it’s a social thing. Paining another person is a social thing. If the other doesn’t live, I’ve already met others of mine and appeased his friends and confessed. But it’s not so, because perhaps the whole world knows that you’re fighting. You see that…

Story — The Chassid Who Approached His Rabbi

Okay, where do we see this in the story? That one of the chassidim approached his rabbi, and he sent him to his grave further. Why? Because all the chassidim are fighting. All that one’s friends are fighting with you because of this, so. So, you do teshuva among Jews. It’s not work, it’s not “magic” that one goes to that one’s grave.

Summary — Structure of Chapter 2

Okay. This is until here is chapter 2. It’s very interesting. The second, the laws between man and his fellow come in regarding Yom Kippur. Where does it come in exactly, laws of teshuva between man and his fellow? It’s also teshuva, yes. There is teshuva between man and God, and there is teshuva between man and his fellow. Okay.